Today in celebrity gossip: The anonymous Avatar star embarrassed himself during his recent arrest, Enrique Iglesias' father has never met Anna Kournikova, and Justin Bieber seems to be getting off.

Like that old saying about how broken clocks are interesting twice a lifetime, Avatar's Sam Worthington punched out a paparazzo last month and now he's in court because of it! Photographer Sheng Li had found himself on the receiving end of twin Australian furies when Worthington and his girlfriend Lara Bingle allegedly attacked him in the streets and now he's in Manhattan Criminal Court putting Worthington on blast. Apparently at the time of his arrest Worthington attempted and failed to use the most laughable defense in existence with the arresting officer: "Have you seen the movie Avatar?" It's not clear how the officer responded, but if he's like any citizen the world over, he presumably responded with "Yes. Who are you?" Anyway, don't feel bad for Sheng Li. His lawyer was at the courthouse making him seem like a total chump for having been beaten up by a lady and also the anonymous star of Avatar: "He’s got some very serious medical injuries. He may have to go in for a very extensive and expensive operation, and he may be deprived of earning a living in the future." Rest in peace, paparazzi's last remaining shred of dignity. [Page Six]

Despite some mixed reports about whether Enrique Iglesias and Anna Kournikova are even still dating, Julio Iglesias sure seems to think they are. Not that he's ever even met Kournikova. In an interview with The Mirror, the elder Iglesias (a frequent fixture in your great aunt's sexiest dreams) admitted that his son's girlfriend of 12 years (!) is still technically a stranger to him: "I have to tell the truth—I have never met Anna. Yes, my wife, and my kids and his brothers have, but I have never met her, no, no, never." Question: What does it say about a very handsome and successful male star who has been in a longtime relationship with a beautiful celebrity without marrying her or even introducing her to his father? Also, remember that time Enrique Iglesias made awkward jokes about being bad at sex and having a small penis? What exactly is Enrique Iglesias' deal? You know what, maybe don't answer that. Anyway, when it comes to this Kournikova thing, there's a possibility that Enrique and his father just aren't very close. Like, here's Julio's assessment of his son: "He is a super guy." And what does he think of Enrique's music? "The music is very different to mine and he has gone his own way...I don't have to say whether I like it or not." Hmm okay. Don't sweat it, Anna Kournikova. This is one telenovela you may want to stay out of. [E! Online]

Good news for those invested in the enduring innocence of Justin Bieber: That whole Miami-rented-Lambo-DUI incident is quickly headed toward a low-key resolution. According to TMZ's sources, there's currently a plea deal in the works for which prosecutors will drop the "DUI, resisting arrest and driving without a license charges" should Bieber agree to plead no contest to reckless driving. The plea would entail a mere 1 year of probation, but on the upside there'd be no mandatory random drug testing. Finally, some justice for our generation's Mumia. [TMZ]

If you glanced at any of your social media feeds Monday night you probably saw a collective, rage-filled caterwauling related to something called How I Met Your Mother. How I Met Your Mother was a TV show that aired for nine years on CBS that many people watched or pretended to watch and cared deeply about or pretended to care deeply about. As it turns out, tons of people were very upset about this finale! To a casual, outside observer who did not watch the show, this outcry seemed slightly baffling. From the beginning, the "mother" aspect always seemed like more of a framing device than an actual, important mystery to be sussed out? The show was actually about five characters who fall in and out of love while coining catchphrases and dealing with occasional cameos from pop stars? Anyway, longtime viewers became enraged when they discovered that for nine seasons the narrator had been referring to a deceased woman. Sitcom characters can't die! Nevermind that the main guy wound up with the main girl in the end, fans were just so mad that the framing device wasn't what they'd expected, or perhaps that the death and subsequent rekindling somehow weren't supported by the narrative. But the posthumous aspect had been, in retrospect, telegraphed from the beginning? Why else would the father spend so much of his story discussing the painful details of his relationship with another woman? And does a network sitcom really need to devote tons of time to exploring the circumstances of terminal illness or death? But again, I didn't watch this thing! Only the weird internet backlash to it. To me the most interesting aspect of How I Met Your Mother's finale was that producers had filmed all the kids' scenes during Season 1 (in 2005), including their final scene, which meant that both David Henrie and Lyndsy Fonseca have walked around for nine years knowing the supposed twist. Henrie, as we all know, went on to play Selena Gomez's geek-hunk older brother on Wizards of Waverly Place, and Fonseca spent four seasons firing a gun at or around Maggie Q on Nikita. (Nikita is a TV show that aired on the CW.) (The CW is a TV network.) Anyway, yeah: Neither Henrie nor Fonseca spilled the beans. A rare How I Met Your Mother finale success story! [Us Weekly, People]

It could be an April Fool's Day prank, but shouldn't pranks be about things people truly care about? O-Town is reuniting. The never-quite-famous Lou Pearlman boy band was formed during MTV's inaugural season of Making the Band back in 2000 during the slow decline of that era's boy band trend and was known mostly as the boy band that had Ashley Parker Angel in it. So obviously Ashley Parker Angel will not be participating in this reunion, which the remaining four members recently announced to Billboard. So, good luck, fellas! Meanwhile, the best thing to come of this news is the fact that this 3-week-old Ashley Parker Angel shirtless selfie is suddenly VERY newsworthy. Thanks, E! Online!

And she paused for a moment on the edge of that stone slab and briefly considered walking directly into the ocean. 'Not today,' she thought to herself. 'Not today.'