Today in celebrity gossip: Lindsay Lohan may have had a glass of wine, British stars mourn Peaches Geldof, and those leaked Demi Lovato nudes are probably not genuine.
If you haven't been watching the docuseries Lindsay on OWN, you've been missing out on one of the more hypnotically stressful horror hours on TV. What began as Oprah's 8-part feel-good exploration of Lindsay Lohan's post-rehab apartment search has evolved into something much darker as she white-knuckles her sobriety and lies to and manipulates everyone around her. In this week's episode, Lohan's on-the-payroll best friend and "wellness coach" AJ Johnson paused from their crafting session to casually ask Lohan if she'd lapsed recently, and Lohan flew into a barely restrained rage recognizable to anybody experienced with addicts. Despite Johnson's job of encouraging Lohan to hold herself accountable for her mistakes, Lohan accused the wellness coach of betraying her trust by questioning her sobriety in front of cameras (who were there for the purpose of documenting both the ups and downs of Lohan's recovery, ostensibly for public benefit), then looked her in the eye and denied drinking before coolly promising she wasn't mad. From there we watched Lohan systematically remove Johnson from her life while her on-camera testimony cherished Johnson's friendship AND conceded that OH YEAH, Lohan had indeed fallen off the wagon. But just the once! It it was a bad boyfriend's fault. But yeah, just that one glass of wine, that's it. And quite frankly Lohan was proud of herself for being able to admit it. Oh, the mental gymnastics involved on this show.
I know that felt like such a TV recap, but Lindsay is a fascinating exploration of addict psychology, how fame/tabloids can affect recovery, and, most concerning, an explanation of why Lindsay Lohan may never beat this thing. She's charismatic and articulate and anytime she defends herself (which is very often in every episode), she seems VERY compelling. You just always want to believe her and that is a trick that has gotten her out of a lot of jams (and into starring roles). Yet she keeps slipping up without taking responsibility. Here's an account of Lohan's behavior at an A.A. meeting around the time of her red wine incident in which she arrived late, failed to interact with anyone, then left early (three big A.A. faux pas). But E! reports that she attended a Miley Cyrus show without falling off the wagon and rolling into a ditch, so, uh, maybe she is fine after all. Except whoops, she's going to Coachella with Dina Lohan. [sadface] While getting sober is an extremely difficult thing to do, A.A. meetings are predicated on the idea that sharing your story can help others. Hopefully that'll be Lindsay's legacy and it won't simply be a document of the beginning of the end. Who knows! As female Ghandi once said, "Every day is a winding road." [E! Online, Radar, Us Weekly]
Probably the coolest way to respond to news of a celebrity death is to be the first commenter to respond "Who?" Uh, you are sitting at a machine wired to access basically all the information in the known universe in a matter of milliseconds. Maybe type that exact question in a different box in your browser and learn something this day? In unrelated news, British tabloid fixture, heiress, fashion personality, and 25-year-old mother of two, Peaches Geldof was found dead yesterday of causes yet to be determined. The nature of British celebrity is highly mysterious to us Yanks, but the shocking nature of Geldof's death on the other side of the "pond" (hold up, I just Googled it, it's actually an ocean) can't be understated. Anyway, some of Geldof's peers have taken to Twitter to mourn their fallen friend and Us Weekly kindly rounded up some of the most prominent:
you were a sparkling, lovely person who showed me such kindness. rest easy, peaches— Lorde (@lordemusic) April 7, 2014
Even if you think you've got it all figured out, some things still can't be explained or understood. Two beautiful children. RIP Peaches— Ellie Goulding (@elliegoulding) April 7, 2014
Poor sweet Peaches Geldof. We spoke only a month ago and she looked like an angel. This is truly sad. Poor Bob! R.I.P— Boy George (@BoyGeorge) April 7, 2014
@lilyallen My thoughts are with Peaches' family at this awful time. I hope they get to grieve in peace. Peaches, rest in peace gorgeous girl— Lily Allen (@lilyallen) April 7, 2014
So sad to hear the news about Peaches Geldof. ☹ She was such a beautiful & special soul. My thoughts & prayers go out to her family. RIP— Paris Hilton (@ParisHilton) April 8, 2014
Sorry pervs, that "leaked" Demi Lovato topless photo going around is probably not actually Demi Lovato. Is there a chance Demi Lovato recently had all her tattoos lasered off and then replaced with poorly drawn Sharpie facsimiles? In that case it might be Demi Lovato, but I won't lie, that scenario seems implausible. But as Gawker points out, the rest of the photos in that particular photoset? The ones where Lovato rolls around kissin' on Wilmer Valderrama? Those are probably real. Because of course they are. Dating Wilmer Valderrama is the realest thing an actress ever does. Oh, and here's what Demi Lovato tweeted after this story began to spread:
Soy fuerte. Soy luchadora. Asi que no me subestimen. pic.twitter.com/kwXMvkRmLd— Demi Lovato (@ddlovato) April 6, 2014
Well, Bieber's gone and done it this time. The rogue prince of teen spirit most pungent recently tried to book a VIP booth at several Miami nightclubs and was spurned by at least THREE of them. According to TMZ, Justin Bieber's people were turned away at LIV, Story, and Adoré on the very reasonable grounds that Bieber is under 21 and they would prefer to not be shut down by the police. But please, please do not worry about Bieber's Friday night. It went great! He just went to a nearby restaurant and lounge for a "low key night." TMZ doesn't state whether he had cake or pie with his Shirley Temple, but let's just hope it wasn't both because that's A LOT of sugar and we all know how cranky sugar shock makes him before evening prayers. [TMZ]
Reddit user your_doppelganger recently discovered a painting that bore a striking resemblance to a certain actor. See anyone you know?
Michael Cera has never looked sexier! According to BuzzFeed, the painting dates to the 1940s Spain and it's a portrait of Doña Carmen Arconada by artist Ignacio Zuloaga. Okay, but this is some Cloud Atlas sh*t.
Here's Gwyneth Paltrow's first tweet following her conscious uncoupling. It's exactly as chill as you'd hope/expect.
But also maybe too chill? Come on, Gwyneth. You're allowed an ugly cry. We've got your back.