CNN's ludicrous coverage of missing Malaysia Air Flight 370 has been well documented, even by Jon Stewart himself. But if you thought the network's nonsense would dwindle as the weeks went on with no news from the plane search, oh boy were you wrong. As The Daily Show proved last night, CNN has no problem blathering on with the most idiotic "reporting."
"It's been three weeks since the disappearance of Malaysia Flight 370 ... In these three weeks CNN has been, much like our Native American ancestors, using every part of the tragedy," Stewart said.
What does using "every part of the tragedy" mean exactly? Well for CNN, it would include such stellar news coverage as hypothesizing about a "zombie plane":
As Stewart said, CNN is just one step away from telling viewers how the plane met your mother. Stewart explained CNN's strategy: "While other news networks have been somewhat willing to move on to other news, CNN has steadfastly remained on the rampart, occasionally pointing at shit and wondering what it is."
Latching onto every possible piece of debris found in the ocean, CNN, according to Stewart, has transformed itself into the guy at the beach with a metal detector looking for buried treasure.
It seems that the only thing CNN has really learned from three weeks of coverage is that the ocean is filled with a lot of trash. "Who knew the ocean was such a big mess?" one CNN correspondent asked.
Stewart: "Yeah, who knew the place where we dump a tremendous amount of our trash is filled with a tremendous amount of our trash. What do you think happens when you flush the toilet?"
Sure, maybe CNN is just trying to be helpful. But when it takes to explaining why some things float and others sink – well, it's a lost cause.
Here, let Stewart summarize the latest CNN coverage: "There is a lot of non-Malaysian airliner garbage in the ocean. The heavier of which sinks, the lighter of which floats. Let us go now to Wolf Blitzer in the new Duh Room."