It's that time of the year, folks. Spring break. Being the network that it is, Fox News is all over it this year, exposing the frivolity for what it is: abhorrent debauchery. And, being the network that it is, Fox does this in its usual hypocritical and offensive manner. On last night's Daily Show, Jon Stewart exposed the vapid, useless nature of Fox News' spring break coverage.
Everyone knows what goes on during spring break. College students everywhere are taking trips down south in order to, in their own words, get their party on. But Fox News won't stand for it! "America's oldest hall monitor Sean Hannity dedicated not one, not two, but five different shows on the horrors of spring break ... featuring a panel of outrage experts," Stewart explained.
What does Fox have a problem with? The usual drugs, binge-drinking, and sex. Particularly the sex part – but only for half of spring break participants. You know, girls. Just for an example, here's one of Hannity's panelists: "My daughter, there's no way in hell she's going there ... But with my sons, I hope they have a good time." Another: "If I had a college son, I'd say 'here's a hundred bucks, have fun.'"
Stewart: "Let's just all agree that that is sexist and just move on to the more pressing issue here: a hundred bucks? He's going to spring break, not Dave & Busters."
And who does Fox blame for this spring break depravity? Parents! "It's time for parents to start parenting," one panelist said. But, of course, along with this parent-shaming is the quick admittance of the panelists that they themselves went on spring break as college students. "So what kind of shitty parents let their kids go to spring break? Oh right, your shitty parents," Stewart said. "You clearly don't want kids today doing the terrible things you have such fond memories of doing."
Included in the spring break outrage series was Hannity and his guests demonstrating all the different things kids do at spring break, like beer pong and funneling. All right on Fox News.
"Honestly it was the fucking weirdest week of TV I have ever seen," Stewart said.