Today in celebrity gossip: Zac Efron was punched in the mouth during a visit to skid row, a Scandal actor has been charged with felony assault, and bad news about Kit Harington's Game of Thrones nude scene.
When it comes to young male actors, Zac Efron may be the closest thing we have to a Golden Boy. America's fondness for this fun-sized hunk runs so deep that we've happily looked past a number of possible red flags: His mysteriously broken jaw, two separate trips to rehab, New Year's Eve. But this new one might be the reddest flag of them all: Late Sunday night, Efron got in a fistfight with some transients on skid row and according to TMZ "got cold cocked in the mouth." The official report put Efron in that notoriously sketchy neighborhood due to running out of gas. While waiting for a tow truck, he or his bodyguard allegedly threw a bottle out the window and it shattered near a group of vagrants who proceeded to charge the car and engage in a full on "melee" during which Efron received a punched to the face that was "the hardest I've ever been hit in my life." The police didn't press charges as they deemed it "mutual combat," but that doesn't mean we're done theorizing about what exactly was going on there. TMZ doesn't outright dispute Efron's side of the story, but its story URL does seem to suggest they do have a theory: "zac-efron-fight-skid-row-drugs". Because yeah, as an L.A. resident I can tell you that skid row + celebrity = drug problem. Anyway, yeah, let's cross our fingers Zac Efron really did run out of gas that night because otherwise this story could take a turn for the horrible. [TMZ]
Well, we're still talking about Gwyneth Paltrow's "conscious uncoupling" today and that's because nobody can resist the sweet taste of schadenfreude. Sorry lady, but you can't spend the better part of a decade humble-bragging about your lifestyle and not expect some righteous blowback. Page Six, for example, rather meanly posted a listicle titled "Gwyneth Paltrow’s 6 weirdest relationship tips" which would have been laughable even before Paltrow's announcement but are now just downright tragic. In addition to 'end arguments with fellatio,' Paltrow also advised common women to always be home before their husbands, never ask why they're working late, be more chill about the idea of being cheated on (while clarifying that she, Gwyneth Paltrow, wasn't speaking from experience), and encourage him to share in your fad diets. For that last tip, Page Six pulled a particularly dreary quote from Paltrow's cookbook It's All Good: "Sometimes when my family is not eating pasta, bread or processed grains like white rice, we’re left with that specific hunger that comes with avoiding carbs." Her household honestly sounded like a gulag. Also, Us Weekly might add another bad tip to the list: actress wives should insert themselves into their husband's musical performances by requesting to sing a duet from their little-seen indie films, as Paltrow allegedly got Chris Martin to agree to sing "Cruisin'" with her at his House of Blues benefit show weeks prior to their split. But you know what? Fine. Whatever did or didn't happen to their marriage is their business and Gwyneth Paltrow should continue to feel free to give tons of advice. The thing is, we should perhaps stop listening to celebrity advice? Just a thought! [Page Six, Us Weekly]
The bad times continue with the news that Scandal's Columbus Short has been arrested for assault following a March 15 altercation at a West L.A. restaurant that left the victim "seriously injured". TMZ has a photo of the man's battered face, along with a laundry list of other fights and legal scuffles in which Short has been involved over the years. In fact, this new fight happened mere weeks after Short had completed a three-year probation related a felony battery in 2010. Anyway, Short was released on $50,000 bail and though a court date has not been set he faces up to four years in state prison. In my opinion Columbus Short should consider not beating anybody up anymore? That is just my opinion though, please don't flame me or troll me too hard on this. [ABC News, TMZ]
This next thing is by far the worst and most terrible news item of the day. Are you sitting down? Put all your calls on hold and hug your cat close: Game of Thrones' Jon Snow a.k.a. Kit Harington's nude scene in Season 3 was performed by a body double! Believe me this is not the news I wanted to give you this day, but in the promotional run-up to Game of Thrones' Season 4 premiere Harington revealed to GQ that Jon Snow's cavern hot springs deflowering to wildling Ygritte contained NO Kit Harington nudity. "When it came down to it I had a broken ankle. . . So the only time you saw my ass, it wasn’t my ass." I'm so very sorry, everyone. Meanwhile, HBO, please fire your publicists because this is NOT the way to promote a new season. You know nothing, HBO publicists. [Page Six]
Okay, let's try and cheer ourselves up a little. As you may know, singer, actress, and occasional Twitter troll Demi Lovato began her career as one of the cute tykes who sang and danced alongside Barney the Dinosaur. (Selena Gomez too!) Well, here she is acknowledging that adorably fun fact while also quoting a Drake song:
.... now we here...??? �� pic.twitter.com/w6YhsR8khL— Demi Lovato (@ddlovato) March 26, 2014
Meanwhile on the other side of the pond (which is actually the Atlantic Ocean, don't ask) Niall Horan, the blondest member of One Direction, met the Queen!
And finally, because you deserve to be exposed to some fine art photography today, please enjoy this stirring and evocative portrait of Miley Cyrus having a moment with her audience.
Somewhere out there, Diane Arbus is feeling like a major failure right now.
CORRECTION: A previous version of this article made reference to the "late" Nick Stahl. While he did indeed disappear for a matter of days back in 2012 and had been spotted on skid row while in the throes of a serious drug addiction, he is still very much alive.