Today in celebrity gossip: Andrew Garfield is the new supervillain in Batkid's life, Jennifer Lawrence is apparently happy she didn't win another Oscar, and Alanis Morissette's heartbreaking struggle to recover her stolen dog.

Yesterday we discussed Radar's report that Andrew Garfield had skipped out on his Oscar presenting duties and we cast a skeptical glance at rumors that his reasons were somehow selfish or related to domestic drama with Emma Stone. Well, now Page Six directly contradicts that report with one that makes Garfield look like some kind of evil supervillain! Apparently not only was he definitely set to introduce a superhero montage during Sunday's telecast, he was also supposed to bring out cancer survivor and beloved viral-vid hero Miles Scott a.k.a. Batkid and christen him an honorary superhero in front of a world audience. Unfortunately "in the middle of the dress rehearsal, Garfield decided he didn’t like his lines," and when producers rejected Garfield's personal rewrites the actor "had a tantrum" and "stormed off." As one might expect, Batkid and his family were reportedly "devastated." We know producers reached out to Chris Evans to fill in for Garfield, but it's not clear from Page Six's report why they evidently scuttled the Batkid bit entirely. As consolation, they sent Batkid and his family to Disneyland, which, fine. Why not? That's nice of them, I suppose. But if there's any truth to this story at all, Andrew Garfield might have some 'splaining to do. Enjoy those upcoming Amazing Spider-Man 2 press junkets, friend! [Page Six]

If a gossip source ever claims that an actress "certainly wasn’t throwing shade," then you better believe that report will be the most shade-throwingest thing you'll read all day. In this case? America's sweetheart turned possibly-trying-too-hard overachiever Jennifer Lawrence has declared that her "friend" Anne Hathaway's career is a nightmare cautionary tale she wants nothing to do with. Radar's angle is that Lawrence was apparently STOKED to not win a second Oscar this year lest she become as widely reviled as Hathaway: "There’s such thing as over-exposure and her name is Anne Hathaway," the unnamed source and shade-thrower-by-proxy claims in a finely honed one-liner. As spurious as this claim may be, the source definitely seems to be onto something with this part: "[Lawrence] is very aware that the backlash is already coming anyway." Because it is! We can only handle so many pratfalls and down-home cussin' from a well-groomed millionaire before we start to feel played. But, you know, as long as Lawrence's backlash doesn't reach Anne Hathaway levels of backlash, it should be fine, right? Because there is truly nothing lower or darker than Anne Hathaway's current status in the public eye. Just kidding, Anne Hathaway is doing fine, everybody. She's doing fine. [Radar]

"I've got one hand in my pocket and the other one GOT YO DOG." That is a rephrasing of one of Alanis Morissette's popular hits made relevant for 2014, did you like it? Listen, here's the story: Alanis Morissette's maid stole Alanis Morissette's dog. Isn't that terrible? According to TMZ, one Maria Garcia was fired from the Morissette home and decided to take the dog with her on account of having grown attached to it while Morissette was on tour. Circus, a chihuahua-pug mix that Morissette and her husband Mario Treadway found roaming the streets and then adopted is now at the center of a $25,000 lawsuit between Morissette and Garcia. Will we learn who wins this dispute? Or will it be under rug swept? That is another reference to Alanis Morissette's back catalog, did you like it too? [TMZ]

The above image of a post-apocalyptic paradise is something called the Azure Urban Resort Residences, it's located in the Philippines and no, that garish "PARIS" sign in the pool area is not some Francophile thing. PARIS HILTON designed it. Well, co-designed it. Her tweets and Instagrams have been vague (as has Daily Mail's summation of said tweets and Instagrams), but Hilton is some kind of partner in this massive exercise in decadence. (The poolside clubhouse alone includes "a movie theatre, restaurants, a gym, game room, spa and massage rooms.") And in case you were wondering, yes, Paris Hilton seems VERY involved in every aspect of its design, per a caption in another Instagrammed photo: "Love the way I designed the interior of my new real estate property. Can't wait to go there this weekend!" She loves the way she designed it (via fax?) and can't wait to actually go there. If that doesn't constitute hands-on involvement, what does? It's not clear if buying a condo in this complex comes complete with a service of vapid teens who roam around breaking into rooms and stealing your clown-sized high heels, but what Paris-branded enterprise wouldn't have that? Anyway, yes: paradise found, everybody. [Daily Mail]

Princess Diana was many things: Collectible plate model, Elton John song inspiration, royal hunk-generator, keyer of Camilla Parker-Bowles' car, occasional do-gooder. But add one more thing to her legacy: PRANKSTER. According to her former personal chef Darren McGrady, Lady Di once dined with none other than Oprah Winfrey and asked him to prepare two versions of the same meal: A healthy, low-calorie tomato mousse for herself a full-fat version "chock full of mayonnaise, sour cream and heavy cream" for the calorie-conscious Winfrey. Ha-HA! It's like something out of Mean Girls! Oh Diana, rest in peace, you cunning trickster. [Page Six]

Like most people you probably haven't slept a wink since you first heard the story about the Olympic athletes asking Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift to be their Valentines. Sure, Taylor Swift responded to her athlete with a cute, if impersonal video, but what about the Miley Cyrus response? What became of that nascent romance? Well, stress no more! Olympic athlete Gus Kenworthy finally got to meet his celebrity crush and they celebrated their liaison in the Miley Cyrus-est way possible: donning false teeth and taking a selfie together! This one's for the romantics: