Today in celebrity gossip: Two of the industry's most celebrated artists "are hooking up," Adam Brody secretly married Leighton Meester, and Gwyneth Paltrow most certainly did not have an affair with an entertainment lawyer.

Celebrated performance artist Miley Cyrus may have changed the world's collective mind about the merits of gawky, awkward gyrations slathered in sequins, but that doesn't mean she's been lucky in love! Cyrus famously called off her engagement to Liam Hemsworth and recently enjoyed a brief fling with noted flesh golem Kellan Lutz, but now we can add no less than Oscar-nominated 30 Seconds to Mars frontman Jared Leto to her list of conquests! According to "a source," the two "are hooking up." In this case "hooking up" means that Cyrus "stayed over at his house." Was he himself present? Unclear! Did they enjoy sexual congress? It's a mystery! But we do know that Leto is literally twice Cyrus' age, in case that is important to you. Also they have a few important things in common: "They like to have a good time, they love to talk about art and music -- and they're both comfortable with nudity!" Almost no other celebrities could claim these things about themselves, so it's truly lucky that Cyrus has found someone so like-minded. But let's hope this art and nudity-cemented slumber party friendship doesn't give Cyrus any wrong ideas about what Leto's into. "Jared doesn't do girlfriends." Dang. Sorry, girl. [Us Weekly]

Gwyneth Paltrow would like you, the world, and Daily Mail to know that she most definitely did not cheat on her husband Chris Martin with some lowly entertainment lawyer, okay? She did not. Ever since an alleged Vanity Fair "takedown" of the actress/guru was abruptly cancelled, speculation pointed to possible affair allegations that Paltrow did not want broadcast. That all culminated this week when the name of entertainment lawyer Kevin Yorn began spreading through Whisper, "a new secret-sharing app" which existence I will have to take on faith because what even? The rumors had reached enough of a fever pitch that Gwyneth Paltrow's people were forced to respond: "The story is completely false. Gwyneth knows Kevin casually through business contacts." There you have it. How could Paltrow possibly engage in sensual activities with someone she only knows "casually through business contacts"? Not possible. Relax, everybody. Rest assured that if YOU woke up next to the man who wrote "Yellow," you wouldn't be climbing around on an entertainment lawyer either. [Daily Mail]

I can't tell you how to feel about this, nobody can: Gossip Girl's Leighton Meester and The OC's Adam Brody secretly got married! Though their relationship seemed to have sprung from a click-pandering online poll of some kind and their engagement lasted only about three months, Brody and Meester are now legally wed. Considering they'd never even publicly confirmed they were dating, this was some Katie Holmes-divorcing, Beyoncé album-dropping clandestine-type operation. So now the question remains: Do you, as a fan of either Leighton Meester or Adam Brody (or both), feel cheated out of a big public event? Do you feel entitled to tons of pictures and spreads and guest lists and interviews about this wedding? Or are you merely just sort of happy for the two? There are no wrong answers, because again, everyone must process this news on their own terms. [Us Weekly]

Our nation's shame Shia LaBeouf may have reached another all-time low in the series of publicity stunts to which he's devoted his career these past few months. But this time it involves no plagiarism nor sky-writing nor tear-soaked paper bag performance art pieces. No, this time LaBeouf's career-ending crime is the sudden and unwavering support he's received from After Earth's Jaden Smith! If you weren't already aware of Will Smith's progeny's amazingly terrible Twitter feed, all you need to know is he tweets in sentence-caps the most mind-numbing pseudo-philosophical yammerings on the internet. (From last November: "We Need To Stop Teaching The Youth About The Past And Encourage Them To Change The Future.") Now Smith has taken a break from hanging out with Justin Bieber or lesser Kardashians to reach out to embattled Battle of Shaker Heights star Shia LaBeouf:

Clearly the best part of this interaction was the idea that Jaden Smith waited in line outside of LaBeouf's #IAMSORRY venue and didn't get in. Say what you will about the circus surrounding this plagiarist's stunt, at least there was no velvet rope favoritism shown toward celebrities. Or children of celebrities who appear in M. Night Shyamalan films with their fathers and aren't great at acting. Not even them. [E! Online]

Meanwhile national folk hero Demi Moore may have snagged another young hunk for her increasingly next-level Little Black Book of Young Hunks. After divorcing Ashton Kutcher she'd been spotted around town having a fling with 27-year-old drummer, but according to Daily Mail she has an even newer and younger fella in her sights: 23-year-old Alex Pettyfer of Magic Mike and I Am Number Four fame. But not Endless Love fame, because first of all who cares about Endless Love, but also bringing it up would imply that this whole story was planted to somehow generate publicity for Endless Love. Anyway! As "a source" who is definitely not a publicist for Endless Love told Daily Mail, Demi Moore and Alex Pettyfer were recently seen interacting at a night club: "There was major chemistry between them, they were flirting up a storm. And, it’s got to be said, despite the age difference they make a really hot couple!" Yes, it's GOT to be said. Let there be no more hedging on the issue of whether two of the hottest people alive make "a really hot couple" or not. Let us join hands with this bold statement and walk bravely in the cleansing light of truth. [Daily Mail]

Now that The Tonight Show is watchable again, expect many more clip-of-the-day segments drawn from Jimmy Fallon's excellent taste in guests! Like, please enjoy this visit from Kristen Wiig doing her very finest Harry Styles impersonation: