Today in celebrity gossip: Justin Bieber exercises terrible flight etiquette, Selena Gomez's secret rehab stint gets more troubling, and Uma Thurman is an irresponsible employer.

At this point, any old insane story in which the name "Justin Bieber" appears will seem immediately believable. Justin Bieber pushes a hobo into a mud puddle. Justin Bieber overturns a school bus. Justin Bieber chews off Mariska Hargitay's finger. Justin Bieber murders an owl with a tennis racquet. All seem very plausible these days! But today's main Bieber item, while insane, actually seems fairly quaint compared to what we've come to expect of this tiny terror. According to an "exclusive" report by NBC News, Bieber and his father were "extremely abusive" toward the flight attendant on their private jet and terrorized her enough "to take refuge in the cockpit" during their flight from Canada to New Jersey. Meanwhile, Bieber and his entourage allegedly smoked so much marijuana that "the pilots were forced to wear oxygen masks... so that they wouldn’t risk inhaling marijuana and fail any subsequent drug test, which would put their licenses at risk." Thankfully, and immediately upon touching down at a Teterboro airport, the DEA and Customs and Border Protection agents were there waiting for them. Despite the lingering stench of pot and several empty plastic bags, "None of the items could be linked to Bieber, his father, or their guests." So after all his run-ins with law enforcement lately, it appears Bieber has, if not mellowed out, at least grown savvier about hiding his vices. Just a very cool story about a very cool guy. [NBC News]

Yesterday we talked about Selena Gomez's alleged secret stint in rehab in early January, but if the timing of that stay didn't seem to add up when taken into account that she attended the Sundance Film Festival in mid-January, TMZ has an explanation: She simply bailed from rehab early! "Selena Gomez ignored the advice of medical professionals and waltzed out of rehab just 14 days into a 6-week program ... over the strenuous objections of the rehab staff." Apparently she promised she'd return after doing some promotion for her new movie at Sundance, but then decided that "she was cured and there was no reason to return." Now, whether or not it's plausible that a working actress would agree to a SIX WEEK stay at rehab in order to cure a fondness for Ambien and feeling brokenhearted, it does seem troubling that someone would treat rehab like an optional, temporary vacation. But who knows? Maybe she is fine? Are we the boss of Selena Gomez? No, only Selena Gomez is the boss of Selena Gomez. Just be good to your employee, Selena Gomez. [TMZ]

Big congratulations go out to talented former Broadway star, Glee and 30 Rock hunk Cheyenne Jackson! He's just gotten engaged to fellow actor Jason Landau, and only six months after divorcing his previous partner of 13 years, Monte Lapka. A lot of people seemed weirdly upset by Jackson's divorce, as he even acknowledged in an interview on The Frank DeCaro Show: "You have to understand the significance that your relationship had to other people. I know that our marriage meant a lot to other people. That's not lost on me, and I respect that." Hopefully now that gay marriage doesn't always have to be a symbolic hero-move on the part of out celebrities, busybodies won't seem quite so personally invested in Jackson's newest relationship? Who knows! Either way, congratulations. [Us Weekly]

One wonders if, every morning bright and early, the same intern from Radar and the same intern from TMZ both show up to scour all the newly filed court documents looking for celebrity legal scoops and divvying them up by their respective sites' interest level. "Here," the TMZ intern slides a document over to the Radar intern. "This seems more your speed." "Uma Thurman neglected to keep Workman's Comp insurance for her employees," the Radar intern reads aloud. "I suppose we'll run this, yeah. Thanks." Their eyes meet fleetingly before the Radar intern produces a document in return. "This one features the actress from Meet the Fokkers and involves actual dog sh*t." The TMZ intern beams and reads over the lawsuit. "Teri Polo's landlord sues her for leaving behind 'dog feces', urine stains and general odors in her rental." The TMZ intern looks up beaming. "This is perfect, Harvey will love this. Thank you." A long beat goes by, a pregnant pause. "Say, would you ever want to, I don't know, maybe--Do you have plans this--" "I'm sorry," the other intern interrupts. "But I'm technically in servitude to a demon and I expect to be swept back to hell any day now." "Oh. Right. Okay." They quietly continue pawing through documents, their words hanging in the air like the sound of a bell that can't be unrung. And then, finally: "Do you think Woody Allen did it?" [Radar, TMZ]

When he's not rumored to be dating pop stars or Kardashians or even his own band members, One Direction's Harry Styles has serious interests. Like art collecting! According to E! the lusciously coiffed dreamboat vagrant recently plunked down $33,000 cash American for a series of typewritten pieces by artist Hayden Kays. You'll have to click on over to E! to see them, but they're basically one-liners typewritten onto white paper and then signed and sold for about $1,500 each. Two takeaways here: Harry Styles has money to throw around and Kays is clearly an evil genius. But also, you know, they just sorta GET each other: "Harry and Hayden have a creative understanding and admire each other's creativity." Art! [E! Online]

Here is the most recent photo from from Kim Kardashian's Instagram account. Spot the tramp! #Sorryyyy