Today in celebrity gossip: Cate Blanchett and Jared Padalecki are the latest celebrities to get caught up in other peoples' drama, Paris Hilton knocked over a casino, and Kristin Scott Thomas has had it.
By now we know the word "Internet" is merely a polite euphemism for "Opinion Vortex." It's all just a flurry of opinions, all day, every day. Neutrality and discretion were long ago ostracized to the elephant graveyard of propriety, and we're left now with a nonstop parade of think-pieces and think-pieces about think-pieces. But it's especially troubling when real and serious issues—issues perhaps necessitating involvement by authorities—are rendered meaningless by anonymous internet strangers' 140-character verdicts on very complicated matters. Like, you've probably heard of the current real-time back and forth over Woody Allen's alleged molestation of daughter Dylan Farrow, if not from of Ronan Farrow's mid-Golden Globes tweets then perhaps because of Dylan Farrow's recent (extremely convincing) open letter in the New York Times elaborating upon her harrowing allegations and personally calling out a metric ton of celebrity Allen collaborators. One such celebrity perhaps unfairly caught up in this guilt-by-association game has been Cate Blanchett, star of Allen's most recent film Blue Jasmine and a front-runner for this year's Best Actress Oscar. "What if it had been your child, Cate Blanchett?" Farrow rhetorically asked in her open letter before also calling out Louis CK, Alec Baldwin, Emma Stone, Scarlett Johansson, and Diane Keaton. Brutal stuff, though, of course, nobody can deny Farrow her righteous anger. Fortunately Blanchett has sorta-responded and done so in really the only way she possibly could: With empathy and neutrality. As she told Guardian UK, "It's obviously been a long and painful situation for the family... I hope they find some resolution and peace." Nicely done! They will never find resolution or peace, but that's about all an outside can openly hope for. Alec Baldwin was a bit less sanguine, however, as he tweeted a response to a similar accusation thusly: "What the f&@% is wrong w u that u think we all need to b commenting on this family's personal struggle?"Also nicely done, I guess? The main thing is yes, this family is going through a terrible crisis and no, we don't all have to intrude upon it, even if they've asked us to. Everyone on the internet behaves as though we all MUST choose either Coke or Pepsi. But what about water? Let's just all drink water? Anyway, questions for discussion: What do we owe Dylan Farrow that the authorities can't or won't provide? Does the legal system even matter? Conversely, can we really enjoy art knowing that the artist is very likely a bad person? Uh-oh, this whole paragraph was full of my opinions. Sorry everybody, the Internet has ruined me. Disregard, honestly. [Us Weekly]
Oh look, more celebrities are in trouble for typing things on the Internet. And once again the controversies surround an undeniably sad and unpleasant news story! It appears that actors Jared Padalecki (Supernatural) and LeVar Burton (Reading Rainbow) both said impolite things about drug-related death--specifically with regard to Philip Seymour Hoffman's--and have been accused of insensitivity toward addiction. In a now-deleted Tweet, Padalecki said, "'Sad' isn't the word I'd use to describe a 46-year-old man throwing his life away to drugs 'Senseless' is more like it. 'Stupid.'" A lot of readers interpreted that as disrespectful to the newly deceased, but the anger is at least justifiable in an industry where Padalecki is presumably surrounded by drug use. LeVar Burton, on the other hand, made the mistake of cracking an actual joke about Hoffman's death: "Damn, #PSH was SO talented! However, if Y'all should find me dead with a needle in my arm, in my underwear . . . please put my pants on!" When a follower responded that the tweet wasn't very cool, Burton responded "Not cool is shooting up when you got kids . . . #areyoukiddingme." Yikes. Again, everyone is allowed to feel either anger or empathy toward drug addiction. But maybe Twitter isn't the best place for that kind of discussion? But then again, eulogizing a human in 140-characters also seems inherently inappropriate, so who knows. Until the Twitter Geneva Convention finally establishes the rules of what's cool to Tweet about, it's like the wild west out there. Good luck, everybody. [Us Weekly]
Easily the most eye-roll-worthy thing about Justin Bieber is his supposed spiritual devoutness. Sorry everybody, but I truly hope that statement isn't as controversial as it sounds. Actual devout people can't be thrilled to be associated with his cafeteria-style religious beliefs, right? Obviously there was the time Bieber publicly thanked "not only God but Jesus" for some trashy music award (they are all trashy), or his super religious tattoos, but in between stripper-lickings and DUI arrests he does stuff like scour NYC swimming pools for impromptu baptisms. Yep, he did that this week. As a source told Page Six, "Justin and his team spent time on Saturday searching for a place with a pool where they could conduct a baptism for him, a cleansing ritual." Perfect. He needs it! Especially now that rumors are swirling that some kind of sex-tape situation is brewing involving yet another strip club groping. According to Radar, last summer Bieber was filmed "'spanking' the bare backside of two strippers and 'pulling off their panties with his teeth.'" It is not clear to what extent the Holy Ghost made him do these things, but that's between him and the big man upstairs. Escaping other peoples' judgment is kind of one of the perks of this stuff. Let's just hope somebody lends Bieber some water wings before that pool dunking. [Page Six, Radar]
Be careful, this next story may make you throw your computer in the trash. In a plotline to rival any of the Ocean's 11 films, it appears Paris Hilton has become a next-level casino heist mastermind! According to TMZ, not only was she recently paid $100K to DJ a nightclub party at Harrah's (a casino robbery if there ever was one), on her way out she casually racked up another $50K at a blackjack table, NBD. It's unclear when Paris Hilton decided to become a lady James Bond or whatever, but she's clearly comfortable in high stakes situations. Are we 100% positive that Paris Hilton isn't also doing spy work or raiding tombs or assassinating world leaders with extreme prejudice? Let me know. [TMZ]
Cruelly and perennially under-celebrated actress Kristin Scott Thomas has HAD it. After a long and storied career playing, as she describes them, "mostly unhappy" characters such as Fiona in Four Weddings and a Funeral, Thomas has decided to hang up the ol' acting cap. (Is an acting cap a thing?) "I realised I've done the things I know how to do so many times in different languages, and I just suddenly thought, I can't do it any more. I'm bored by it. So I'm stopping," the actress told The Guardian. It's a perfectly fair excuse for someone who's grown frustrated with the terrible paucity of roles for women of her age. But quick question, did any of you see Only God Forgives? Forget all the Ryan Gosling poseur-smoldering and aggressive set design; Kristin Scott Thomas is INCREDIBLE in it. Yes, even the roles she's grown tired of doing still yield excellent performances, but her role as Gosling's monstrous American mother is the entire reason to recommend that film at all. Truly disgusting and hilarious work. Let's hope Thomas is merely retiring from American studio films. (Re: her last studio film Confessions of a Shopaholic: "I hated it, hated it, hated it.") Surely there's got to be more insane roles for her to play in the future, right? Please don't give up on us, Kristen Scott Thomas! [The Guardian]
No, we are not done talking about Philip Seymour Hoffman and his impact. Please enjoy this circa-Talented Mr. Ripley photo that Gwyneth Paltrow posted to her Instagram account in commemoration of the departed legend: