Well, we're finally getting some explanation about the long-awaited Gwyneth Paltrow Vanity Fair story is finally being explained in the March issue of the magazine.*

We've known for a while that something Vanity Fair did got Paltrow angry. So angry  that she, according to the New York Times, emailed friends saying: "If you are asked for quotes or comments, please decline. Also, I recommend you all never do this magazine again." But in his Editor's Letter—an excerpt of which was posted online—Graydon Carter explains that one of the reasons the magazine sat on the piece was that Vanessa Grigoriadis' "reasoned, reported essay on the hate/love-fest that encircles Gwyneth Paltrow" just wasn't what people were expecting. That only became more confusing when Carter and Paltrow talked in October.

"We talked for about 20 minutes about the story and her reaction, or over-reaction, to it. At one point, she asked my advice as to what to do to get the 'haters' on her side. I suggested putting on 15 pounds," Carter wrote, in a statement that merits a gigantic eye-roll. "I joked that it works for me. She replied I had put on much more than that. Which I thought was fair and funny." 

Carter writes: 

The Gwyneth Paltrow saga had clearly just gotten away from us. My instinct was to continue to let it sit until people had forgotten about it, or at least until expectations had diminished. The fact is the Gwyneth Paltrow story, the one we ordered up, as delightfully written as it was, is not the one the anti-Gwynethites expect. 

Grigoriadis is a great writer who isn't known for being particularly merciful. (Her 2008 profile of Britney Spears for Rolling Stone remains a powerful portrait of a broken down star.) Still, we're probably not going to get any tawdry details of the Goop life when the magazine finally comes out. 

At least we'll have George Clooney making cracks about Gwyneth in front of VF cameras next to a shocked Julia Roberts. 

*We have amended the lede of the story and the headline to reflect that Vanessa Grigoriadis' Paltrow story is not actually featured in the magazine, only Carter's letter. Grigoriadis has a piece on stylists.