In this week's Hollywood Reporter, cosmetic surgeons declare the era of the "trout pout" so over. So how long until this current crop of pinpricked Hollywood starlets get thrown under the bus like Meg Ryan and Melanie Griffith?
"Fish lips might be extinct, but in Hollywood, maintaining a youthful mouth is hotter than ever. There simply are more effective and conservative ways to do it." So says THR's Merle Ginsberg, after speaking to folks like L.A. plastic surgeon Lawrence Koplin and dermatologist Harold Lancer. According to Ginsberg, these two are the alpha and omega of Hollywood lip trends, Koplin having ushered in the "trout-pout" era by cramming collagen into Barbara Hershey's lips pre-Beaches. He's since seen the light, much like Saul on the road to Damascus. Koplin's excuse for why the American public recoiled from Hershey's insane mutant lips? "[S]he didn't tell me her character would wear red lipstick!" It's always the thing you least expect.
Lancer is apparently the man who has saved Hollywood's women from themselves, having introduced more "sophisticated" means of correcting the awful God-given faces these hideous actresses were born with.
"We put in a tiny cannula, which leaves a small thread of filler, a fraction of previous volumes," says Lancer. "Now directors and stylists are warning actresses not to get too altered." Adds Kopelson: "Thank God we're living in more tasteful times. Extreme anything looks wrong, unless you're Rihanna."
And thank God for that. It's just too bad we have to herald such developments by throwing women like Ryan and Griffith and Hershey under the bus. It's particularly galling when this is done by the same Hollywood Industrial Complex, the surgeons and the dermatologists and the fashion reporters, who have required that actresses keep up with the superficial Joneses in this manner in the first place. Meg Ryan didn't embark on this road to lippy ruin because she felt her face lacked a certain Picasso quality. She followed the trends that these yahoos created. The same yahoos who can seemingly say with a straight face that the unexpected complication of red lipstick was to blame for ruining Barbara Hershey's career.
How long until the current beauty trends become laughable, and the Halle Berrys and Amy Adamses become examples of whatever beauty myth we're now "correcting." Why are we patting these flesh vultures on the back? Did Merle Ginsberg learn nothing from her time as a judge on RuPaul's Drag Race? If we can't love Meg Ryan and Barbara Hershey, how the hell are we gonna love anyone else?
Can I get an "Amen"?