Last night's Daily Show handicapped the competitors of the 2014 Winter Olympics—but not in terms of athletic capability. Host Jon Stewart was more focused on an altogether separate metric: national homophobia.
Meet the "2014 Sochi Homophobic Olympics," in which any country can take part.
In a mock handicapper role, Stewart narrowed down some of the fiercest competitors. There's India, where homosexuality has been again criminalized and offenders jailed for 10 years. There's Nigeria, where gay people can be jailed just for gathering with each other. And there's Uganda, where homosexuality can be punished with life in prison. "And Uganda takes the lead... by moving backwards!" Stewart exclaimed. "Nigeria, are you gonna intolerate that?"
But that's not to forget "the gay-phobic country to beat this year," Mother Russia. "They've got a home team advantage and a star who's been making a real name for himself: Vladimir Putin." Stewart contrasted African homophobia, which is "aggressive and attacking," with the "more strategic" Russian homophobia.
Finally, the host welcomed correspondent Aasif Mandvi, who pointed to recent statements from The Bachelor's Juan Pablo Galavis and Pennsylvania Governor Tom Corbett to remind us that the U.S. isn't entirely out of the running in this race. The segment closed in cheers of "USA! USA!" and "We can do it!"