Today in celebrity gossip: Ke$ha has checked into rehab to treat an eating disorder, Charlize Theron and Sean Penn may be dating, and Lena Dunham faces off against Shia LaBeouf.

There's no fun angle to this story: 26-year-old singer, dancer, and, um, artist Ke$ha has reportedly checked into rehab for 30 days to treat an eating disorder. Or, as the "Tik Tok" speak-singer herself put it, "I'll be unavailable for the next 30 days, seeking treatment for my eating disorder ... to learn to love myself again, exactly as I am." People provides a helpful timeline of the negative press Ke$ha received a few years back for looking imperfect in a bikini and theorizes it all led to Ke$ha's recent dramatic weight loss. But it also suggests that her career had been at a bit of a crossroads lately anyway. Ke$ha's newest album, Warrior, hadn't been quite the hit her previous one had and in a Rolling Stone interview last fall she essentially admitted she didn't have control over her music or image. So it wouldn't be outrageous to suggest that all those issues contributed to her current situation. Which would be a shame since she's been so outspoken about female empowerment and body image, and, you know, headdresses and glitter eyebrows. But she seems to acknowledge that irony in her statement, saying "I'm a crusader for being yourself and loving yourself, but I've found it hard to practice." Aw, get well soon, girl. [Us Weekly, People]

Um, do you think it's possible that Charlize Theron and Sean Penn are having the fling of the century? Like, would that kind of thing even be allowed? They are not teens! Yet they've been gallivanting around in Waikiki together in their swimwear (looking surprisingly buff!) and sneaking around airports together and now they're getting coffee together in Malibu and having sleepovers. Oscar-winning actors of a certain age are just living it up out there! One of the nosiest sources in E! News history revealed A LOT about their sleepover habits, reporting the two "were first spotted leaving Theron's Hollywood Hills, Calif. home the morning of Jan. 2," only to spend the night Thursday and "emerge together Friday" before hanging out in Malibu all day. Quick question, who is the maniac chilling in Charlize Theron's driveway for three days? I'm honestly worried about her safety at this point. On the other hand, wow! That is a good coupling, right? It seems like they are living a Nancy Meyers movie right now, just two attractive middle-aged (?) people getting their grooves back or whatever. Congratulations, guys, you deserve it. [E! Online]

Oh boy. At some point Shia LaBoeuf decided to turn his reprehensible plagiarism journey into a bit, in a mistaken gambit to somehow save his reputation or establish himself as a subversive prankster. We must hold strong against this scheme. Do not reward him with bemused respect or resigned tolerance. His thievery should be nothing less than career ending! [Frustrated grumble.] Anyway, joining us in this hopeful crusade is Girls creator Lena Dunham, who has vocalized her disapproval of LaBeouf's recent skywriting stunt with the following subtweet:

To which LaBeouf subtweeted:

Which was, of course, a plagiarized apology Dunham once gave:

Note that LaBeouf still managed to make his version less interesting than Dunham's just by changing a single word. Anyway, at this point their twitter "feud" devolved into a weak dig at LaBeouf's former role on Even Stevens and Dunham self-deprecatingly backing off. Which was really too bad as we know Dunham is about one thousand times cleverer than LaBeouf, and a total takedown would have been so, so satisfying. At least there's always Patton Oswalt to keep the justified rage going:

A tweet which LaBoeuf, of course, retweeted. Remember, everybody. Don't reward a sociopath with a round of applause. Shia LaBoeuf is a bad person. Never forget. [Us Weekly]

Were you one of the lucky fans who paid $2,500 for a V.I.P. meet 'n greet at Britney Spears' Planet Hollywood Vegas cabaret act? Then there's a strong chance you came away disappointed by your "3-second" photo op or the strict rules that fans "were not to hug or touch Britney without her permission and they weren’t allowed to bring her any gifts." In which case maybe you were the source who said this about Britney's appearance: "The wig was painfully obvious one night and it was just so sad." Or maybe you were the fan who described her as having "a scary wig n sad eyes." Sorry everybody, but there is nothing about this story that isn't unsettling. Slavery is real and it's happening in Las Vegas. [Radar]

Speaking of horrifying: Rose McGowan witnessed a masked man sucker punch a 65-year-old man at Venice Beach, allegedly as part of something called a "knockout game." That's where thrill-seekers attempt to knock strangers unconscious with a single punch, you know, for kicks. So yeah, actress and national treasure Rose McGowan not only witnessed the attack, but gave chase when the assailant skateboarded away! Unable to catch him, she returned to the victim who was, again, a 65-year-old man, noticed he was bleeding from the ear and called an ambulance. TMZ provides no further details outside of McGowan's tweeted account of the events, but the whole thing is a nightmare scenario for sure. Much worse than getting bisected by a garage door in Scream. Ugh, people. [TMZ]

For the record, ever since British Olympic diver Tom Daley copped to having a boyfriend we'd never gotten an official confirmation that he was indeed dating the much older screenwriter Dustin Lance Black. But now we sort of do! In the form of this duo selfie (delfie?) posted to Daley's Instagram account. Enjoy the handsome:

Oh, okay, one more. Please enjoy this perfectly-captioned image from actor Idris Elba's twitter account. Rest in peace, everybody.