On last night's Daily Show, Jon Stewart turned his attention to the hazy culture wars presently blazing across Colorado's newly legalized weed industry. So he turned to conservative rabble-rouser Bill O'Reilly and Times columnist David Brooks for smart takesor, err, semi-coherent screeds against legalization. 

O'Reilly argued on his show that since some adults can handle the mind-altering affects of weed and others can't, smoking up is "literally Russian Roulette." Stewart jumped on the Biden-esque use of "literally."

"In fact," he quipped, "I think the only difference between a bong hit and pointing a loaded gun at your own skull is that the gun can kill you instantly and must never be criminalized or restricted in any way ever." He then skewered O'Reilly's bizarre fixation on the "texting epidemic." Echoing a Tina Brown tweet, Bill O'Reilly pointed out that "in China young people are encouraged to compete, be disciplined, and live in the real world"; Stewart reminded the bumbling host that the Chinese use texting more than anyone else in the worldand restrict the size of their families through central planning.

Comedy Central

Stewart saved his sharpest bile for David Brooks, the New York Times columnist who took a bold stance against legalization in a column wherein he confessed to toking in his youth, yet showed no comprehension of his own privilege as a white person who smoked years before the war on drugs mass incarcerated people of color.    

"You just don't get it, Brooks," Stewart mouthed. "You just don't understand the 'exuberance of the feast.'" Indeed, he closed by quoting a "stirring tribute to hedonism" written by none other than, err, David Brooks in 2005.