Today in celebrity gossip: George Clooney gave a highly amusing Reddit AMA, Kanye West must pay the teen he beat up, and Vin Diesel has MOVES.

First of all: Hey guess what? I am outright refusing to write about Justin Bieber today, deal with it. Second of all: We don't talk about George Clooney enough. Let's do that! This week George Clooney's been out rustlin' up some attention for his new film The Monuments Men and he took time to answer a bunch of dweebs' questions on Reddit's Ask Me Anything forum. You will be shocked to your very essence by what I'm about to say, so brace yourselves: He was charming. George Clooney gave some charming answers, everybody! Ring the bells, call in the livestock. Clooney's a charmer. Obviously, he has a healthy sense of humor about himself, for example addressing the recent Fey-Poehler Golden Globes joke told at his expense: "You know I got really good by Tina and Amy the other day and I'm working on getting them back in a big way." But it's how he talks about other famous people that truly delights. Like, here he is on Sandra Bullock: "An incredibly charming woman who's really just fun to hang out with. Very smart and centered, even though she does drink a lot." Or his quick assessment of Brad Pitt's puckish behavior: "Yeah, he's done some pretty rotten things." But the best anecdote is when he nearly had co-star Richard Kind thrown in jail for airport terrorism:

I remember I got this insane-looking prop from this movie Solaris. It was the size of a lunchbox and it had all these intricate lights and tubes, and I snuck it into Richard Kind's carry-on bag. They ran it through the machine and pulled it off and asked, "What is this? Did you pack your own bag?" He had no idea what to say. Of course this was pre-9/11. If you did that now it would be a very horrible thing, but it was very funny at the time.

Oh man, those innocent pre-9/11 days, when George Clooney could plant bomb-like devices in peoples' carry-ons. Miss those days. But anyway, yes: George Clooney is a rascal. [Us Weekly; more on Clooney's AMA here.]

Kanye West, everybody. He's been out Kanye-in' around again. For what seems like years he's been laser-focused on getting Kim Kardashian on the cover of Vogue by harassing editor Anna Wintour every chance he gets. But now it seems he's taken the recent Lena Dunham cover VERY hard, as an inside source told Radar that West insists Kardashian is "just as talented as Lena, if not more so." It's unclear in what capacity he believes Kim Kardashian is more talented than Dunham, but West apparently believes that a sizable Instagram following and being "intriguing" enough to have "Barbara Walters calling her like everyday" constitutes talent. But none of that matters to Anna Wintour, sorry to say. On the upside she IS alleged to be "open to the idea" of letting Kardashian appear on the cover of French or Italian Vogue if only to "get Kanye off of her back." So, you know, persistence! [Radar]

But not ALL is consolation-cover sunshine in the world of Kanye West: That dust-up he had a few weeks ago with the racist teen? Despite being universally hailed (by me mostly) as a hero for the anti-racist beatdown, West has allegedly been forced to settle with the teen for, as TMZ reports, "MORE THAN $250,000." So there you have it, teens. Need to make some quick cash? Use the n-word in front of Kim Kardashian and patiently wait for that million-dollar fist to intrude upon your face. Anything is possible if you believe in yourself racistly. [TMZ]

Actress Sienna Miller had many of her darkest secrets laid bare during Jude Law's recent testimonies in the News of the World phone hacking trial currently going down, but that doesn't mean she's not going to offer up new confessions of her own. In a new and surprisingly pathos-laden interview with Esquire UK, she looks back on her career like a depressed ghost on Christmas Eve: "I had faith in the goodness of everyone. I was very open. And that led me into all sorts of situations that backfired... I sabotaged things. I burnt a lot of bridges." Obviously, there were her disastrous relationships with Jude Law and Balthazar Getty, but a contrite Miller insists she wasn't exactly a victim in either case. When the interviewer politely suggested she hadn't done anything immoral per se, she corrects: "No, no, no, I have." All of which led to her absence from the tabloids in recent years: "I deliberately disappeared. I was sick of myself, to be honest, or sick of that perception of me. It all felt so f--king dirty." Thus concludes today's chapter of Celebrityhood Seems Awful. [E! Online, Us Weekly]

And finally, because we all deserve nothing less: Vin Diesel dancing to Beyoncé and Katy Perry in his living room for 7+ minutes! Please enjoy this video with the intensity it deserves: