Today in celebrity gossip: Kaley Cuoco surprised her mother with a new Lexus, Reese Witherspoon enjoyed a glass of wine, and Brody Jenner has feelings about Harry Styles' love life.
Very few people have ever received a surprise Lexus for Christmas, but even fewer still have ever given birth to The Big Bang Theory's Kaley Cuoco. Which one of these is the bigger prize? Hard to say. But this week Layne Ann Cuoco laid claim to both honors at once when her daughter (and her finest achievement to date, inasmuch as this achievement has paid dividends in the form of a new car) showered her mother with the grace and love and respect only a navy blue, bow-wrapped Lexus can demonstrate. And to answer the age-old question of, "If Kaley Cuoco gifts her mother a Lexus, but no paparazzi is around to see it, did it really happen?" The answer is, who knows?! Because Us Weekly was there to capture the joy and surprise and gratitude of this most personal event. So this Christmas when you're unwrapping gifts and stealing glances out the window to see if maybe, just maybe this year your daughter may have surprised you with a new Lexus in the driveway, ask yourself this one question: Is your daughter Kaley Cuoco? If not, then knock it off. That Lexus is not gonna happen. [Us Weekly]
Meanwhile in the boho-chic brunch 'n boutique strip known as L.A.'s Abbot-Kinney, Reese Witherspoon recently spent the day surrounded by nosy haters who hardcore NARC'd her out for drinking a glass of wine before driving home. That's right, what people don't realize is that not only do celebrities have to put up with the constant intrusions of paparazzi, they have to exist in a sort of nanny state where tattooed dirtbags get to tsk-tsk them on TMZ for drinking a glass of wine with dinner. Anyway, for the record, Reese Witherspoon went shopping for "several hours" in between said glass of wine and said drive home, so if you were expecting a repeat of her infamous Atlanta cop-shriekfest, you'd be gravely, despondently disappointed. This was not that. This was just Reese Witherspoon enjoying a glass of wine with dinner. [TMZ]
Brody Jenner, the Kardashian step-bro robo-hunk rumored to have been struck by lightning shortly before attaining a bare minimum of sentience has reappeared recently for one important reason: To discuss Harry Styles' love life! The angle here is that the erstwhile One Direction standout is currently dating Brody Jenner's half-sister, Kendall. THAT is why the 30-year-old Brody Jenner is discussing with reporters his 18-year-old sister's love life. But whereas Harry Styles seems to have earned a reputation as a low down dirty dawg when it comes to the ladies (a rude, coarse, and naughty reputation that Harry Styles' team would very much like for you to accept as truth), in this particular case Brody Jenner believes that Kendall will tear Harry Styles UP. "I hate to tell you this, but Kendall will be doing the heartbreaking," he explained. And honestly? As a veteran of The Hills, who is more of an expert on staged romances than Brody Jenner? Perhaps we should listen to him, guys. [NY Daily News]
It may have happened a few days ago, but people are still pretty steamed about Steve Martin's racially insensitive twitter joke! He quickly deleted and apologized for the joke, but maybe it bears examination: When someone asked him whether "lasonia" was the correct spelling of that word, he responded with "It depends. Are you in an African-American neighborhood or at an Italian restaurant?" I am not going to lie, I don't even really understand this joke? Is the joke that black people misspell "lasagna" or was Steve Martin saying that "lasonia" sounds like a black woman's name? Feel free to explain this to me in the comments, especially if you happen to be Steve Martin because that is either very dumb or maybe it's some next-level genius that I can't understand? Whatever the case, I have a feeling that the anger still being directed at Martin has something to do with this current wave of celebrity bigotry that everyone's so tired of lately. Like that mean-looking Santa from Quack Empire and also that lady who made an AIDS joke and then took a super-long plane ride? Maybe we just all really needed to exorcise some general, universal frustrations about bigotry and these people with their basic lazy brainwaves were the perfect outlet? Whatever. Jokes are jokes, but jerks are jerks, and we should try to keep those things separate maybe. [E! Online]
Okay I am putting this one close to last and also I don't think we should talk about it too much because when a celebrity makes a conscious decision to back away from the spotlight in order to be free of the culture that may have ruined them, we should respect that. BUT Amanda Bynes looks really good now! Normal and healthy and hopefully happy? She is a Christmas miracle wearing Kim Jong-il sunglasses! Look, I just wanted to take a moment and recognize this occasion because she had a rough year and so many of us alternated between laughing about her situation and also feeling horrified by it, but look, happy holidays are come. Amanda Bynes is doing better and that is worth taking to heart. Stay away from this machine as long as you need to, girl. [Daily Mail]
And finally, if you want to make a naughty child cry today, please feel free to use this photo. Because "Bieber Clause gonna take you on a sleigh ride tonight."