Secretary of State John Kerry and Iran's Prime Minister Javid Zarif almost reached a deal to dissolve Iran's nuclear weapons program, which would have been a real win for the administration after a long dry spell. Of course negotiations fell through, Kerry blamed Iran, and Zarif fired back—with a tweet. "He tweeted?" Stewart asked. "We haven't talked for 34 years, we get together and you fucking tweet a break up? That's what you do? Takes a lot of balls."
Stewart asked Senior International Affairs correspondent Samantha Bee how the administration was taking this diplomatic setback. "Oh, they really needed this one, Jon. Obama just really needed this win," Bee said. "There was that whole mess with the NSA, Congress holding up all of his appointments, and the Healthcare.gov rollout was just pathetic." Bee called it a disaster, stuck inside a travesty, wrapped in incompetence, aka a clusterfucken. Plus there's a new software glitch. "Now, when you try to sign up for Obamacare, your computer punches you in the dick," Bee said. "I mean, how do you not think about that when you design a website?"
With all that on his plate, Obama just wants something to go right. "He's so desperate for a win he's playing Call of Duty: Ghost on easy just to rack up the achievements," Bee added. The staff, to cheer him up, even set up a game of pick up basketball for him.
But even that didn't go well. "A big boned girl in a flannel nightgown just won the game with a tomahawk dunk," Bee said. "Dammit Pepper, why would you do that?" Seems like nothing's going right for the administration these days.