We realize there's only so much time one can spend in a day watching new trailers, viral video clips, and shaky cellphone footage of people arguing on live television. This is why, every day, The Atlantic Wire highlights the videos that truly earn your five minutes (or less) of attention. Today:

So NASA had a pumpkin-carving contest with some talented kids. They've also proven that pumpkin-carving envy is definitely a thing:

I have two simple tests to figure out if you're a real New Yorker. One involves a man named Dr. Zizmor. The other test is if this next video makes you feel irrational feelings:

Don't try this at home. Seriously, fast-food workers are not paid enough to deal with this nonsense:

And, finally, we will be enjoying this weekend as much, if not more, than this raccoon loves grapes: