Eesh. Beleaguered famechild Justin Bieber was in Brazil this weekend for some shows, and unfortunately things did not go so well for him. First he was photographed on Saturday night leaving a notorious Rio brothel, called Centaurus, where "the women are mind-boggling." To be fair, the photographs just show someone under a blanket, but a few visible arm tattoos do match the one's on Bieber's arm. So that's what people spent the weekend doing, matching the arm tattoos of a person seen leaving a Brazilian bordello with those of a 19-year-old Canadian pop singer. Great work, all of us! Anyway, two girls from the brothel were seen being driven away, presumably to Justin's hotel room, where I'm sure they all watched Netflix or something and went to sleep. Then, last night, Bieber was doing a show in Sao Paolo and someone threw a bottle at the stage, which hit him in the hand. He stormed off in anger, and though fans waited for 30 minutes in the hopes that he would come back and at least perform "Baby," Bieber never returned to the stage. Some Brazilian blogger wrote of Bieber's decision to stay off stage, "Once again the music was left to one side and the ego took over, his blood boiled and the rebellious teenager wiped out the talented singer. A night of fun was overshadowed by a few seconds of anger and immaturity." Which... Look, I'm sorry that the kid who came to your country and had a bottle thrown at him didn't want to keep singing, but let's not overreact here. Yes, Bieber has been a bit of a little s--t lately, peeing in other people's buckets and having servants carry him places, but come on. He'd just had a bad night the day before and then someone threw a bottle at him. I'd probably say "Eh, forget it," too. I know we won't be satisfied until we've torn this boy limb from limb and all that's left is some sad little pile where a person used to be, that will drag itself through the rest of its inglorious life while we occasionally remember it and turn and point and shake our heads, but let's at least have a little compassion, huh? I think we can at least do that. [Daily Mail; Mirror]

Speaking of rough weekends, Josh Brolin's wasn't great. He was out late Thursday and into Friday morning, and was videotaped getting in two separate altercations. The first, embarrassingly, was in a Del Taco drive-thru, and involved him yelling at a taxi driver whom he'd just rear-ended. Yes, again, Josh Brolin rear-ended the taxi driver's car, but Josh Brolin got mad at the taxi driver, yelling and saying "you suck as a cab driver." Which, sick burn, Brolin. Sickest of burns. So that's awfully silly, but the night only got worse, I'm afraid. Following the Del Taco incident, Brolin got in a fight with a bouncer outside a bar after being asked to leave at closing time. And, of course, there's video. In it, we see 45-year-old adult Josh Brolin punching at a bouncer like a drunken kangaroo. Then a weird thing happens. The bouncer starts saying "We were just hugging, we were just hugging," and Brolin stops flailing and punching and gives the guy a hug. So was Brolin that drunk that he forgot he was fighting the guy and believed they'd just been hugging? Possibly! We may never know for sure, sadly. After the hug, Brolin took photos with some fans and then ran away, back home to Diane Lane, I guess, who was probably asleep in a chair by the door, where she'd been sitting waiting up for him before drifting off yet again, waking up in the morning and finding him snoring away in bed, one shoe still on, dreaming of something good. [TMZ]

Former 'N Sync oddity Chris Kirkpatrick got married over the weekend, with all of his former bandmates — yes even Justin — acting as groomsmen and ushers. So that's nice. Nice that they're all still close and not resentful of each other. (Though, JC didn't go to Justin's wedding. Because obviously JC didn't go to Justin's wedding, are you kidding me. Why would you go to a party that's been stolen from you, that is supposed to be yours?) Last week Lance Bass said on his radio show that all the groomsmen were wearing Men's Warehouse suits, because Kirkpatrick likes to keep things simple, and laughed about Justin Timberlake wearing a Men's Warehouse suit. Which, like, Justin Timberlake was wearing this not that long ago, so I think he can deal with a Men's Warehouse suit. Anyway, that's good. Hope everyone had fun. Maybe JC even said a few kind words to Justin about, I dunno, the new music or something. I mean, now that the second half of 20/20 Experience got bad reviews and Runner Runner tanked, JC feels a little better. A little bit. Or, he did at least until Justin told the group that he had to leave early the next morning to promote the new Coen brothers movie that he's in, which drove JC right back to the bar and into another gloomy fit. Sigh. [Us Weekly]

Austin Mahone, new teen singing sensation and leader of a loyal horde of Mahomies, performed at a Republic Records exec's party this weekend. Well, it wasn't his party, it was the bar mitzvah of his twin sons, Jesse and Jagger Walk. Which... twin sons? And they wanted Austin Mahone? What's the thinking there, I wonder. If you get Mahone, you get the girls? That could be it. Or maybe they're, y'know. Or maybe they just like Austin Mahone! That is possible. Stranger things have happened. It's possible that in these more open-minded times, a teen in New York City, a male teen, can admit to enjoying the music of a teen heartthrob. That is allowed, perhaps. [Page Six]

Duchess Kate, future queen of all Britons both in this world and the next, has been renovating the Kensington palace "apartment" she and William and baby George will soon be moving into. I put "apartment" in quotes because this is a twenty-room joint with three kitchens and a panic room. "Kensington Palace is safe and contained, and such a welcoming environment. You feel like you have freedom there," some "insider" said to Us Weekly about the digs. Yes, I always feel free and welcomed when I'm in castles with panic rooms. Kate has been working with designers to do extensive renovations on the place, but of course she has to mostly stick with antiques and all that junk because it's the royal aesthetic. Even if Kate really, really wanted stark modernism, she wouldn't be able to have it. Well, maybe in the panic room. Maybe they allowed her at least that. "Might as well be in a space you love before the peasants come to behead you," the Queen clucked when Kate asked if she could at least do that room her way. And so it is. Unfortunately I don't think there's going to be any sort of royal unveiling or home tour, a la Jackie Kennedy and the White House, but we can always hope. Please Kate, show us your home. [Us Weekly]