On last night's Daily Show, Jon Stewart gracefully settled the vicious feud he sparked last week regarding Chicago's pizza.
"I may have mentioned something about Chicago-style pizza and how it tended to be less pizza-ish than pizza," the host cheekily began. "In articulating that sentiment, I may have implied that deep-dish pizza tasted like a string cheese that had been baked for two hours inside of Mike Ditka's ass." At any rate, it turns out Chicago has television—and took great offense.
Among the most outspoken objectors (besides those who told Stewart to "die" on Twitter) was Chicago mayor Rahm Emanuel, who promptly sent an anchovy-covered deep-dish pizza (dead fish—get it?) to The Daily Show. This backfired when Stewart conjured a video of Daily Show dog Kweli sniffing the pizza and walking away. Adding insult to injury, he explained, "I have seen that dog eat not only garbage, but happily spend his entire day with his nose in another dog's butthole."
But, of course, there's a reconciliation, so Stewart invited fourth-generation Chicago pizza-maker Marc Malnati to serve him deep-dish during the show. "What am I, a f—ing animal?" he mouthed, pushing aside the knife and fork. But then, conceding that it's "very, very tasty," he bonded with Malnati, celebrating that—well, at least it's not California pizza.
None of which is to say The Daily Show has quit defending New York's honor in The Great Pizza War of 2013. Thus comes an additional clip, "New York Pizza Is Magic," featuring guests like Matthew Broderick and Steve Buscemi to explain to Chicago that its pizza simply doesn't match up.
"The point is, Chicago, relax," Buscemi urges. "Congratulations, your pizza is edible. It's just not magic."