We still won't get a chance to watch the new season of American Horror Story for two weeks, but they've released dozens of teaser videos for weeks now. Now it's the opening credits. Enough already!
Yes, yesterday, Ryan Murphy released the credits of American Horror Story Colon Witches from his personal YouTube account (can you just picture Ryan Murphy in front of a computer trying to figure out how to upload something to YouTube, one hand cocked in the air in frustration). The opening credits! Sure, they're amazing, but the credits are the 60 seconds you sit through (or rap along to if it's the Fresh Prince of Bel Air) waiting for the show to start.
AHS is driving us crazy, it's teaser after teaser, some better than others, as it ramps up for season three. There are literally a dozen videos on the show's website. Yes, some of them are amazing but some of them are only 15 seconds long and just some imagery that is supposed to get us in the mood. In the mood? I do not need mood, I need some footage from the actual freaking show we're going to watch. Know what got me in the mood? When someone said Jessica Lange, Angela Bassett, and Kathy Bates are going to play witches. Done. I'm hooked. I'm tuning into FX on October 9 at 10 p.m. What I need is proof of execution considering the second season of this show was so wildly uneven. You know, something from the actual show.
Yes, there was a trailer (and this Frankenstein's monster of a thing which is some girl talking about the trailer and then telling us everything about it, some sort of YouTube beast that was crawling around in the basement of the AHS Murder House), but it was only 30 seconds long. 30 measly seconds! Give us what we want, guys, not just the stupid credits.