Today in show business news: Bradley Cooper might be playing a very funny role in Marvel's Guardians of the Galaxy, Randy Jackson is not done with American Idol, and more of Jon Snow's abs.
Move over, Star-Lord and Groot and Drax the Destroyer. There's a new silliest person in town. Or, rather, in the galaxy. There are reports today that Bradley Cooper is in talks to voice a character in Marvel's next big franchise hopeful, Guardians of the Galaxy. That character? An animated raccoon named Rocket Raccoon. Yes. I'll say it again: An animated raccoon named Rocket Raccoon, voiced by Bradley Cooper, that Marvel is planning on putting in a movie that they hope will do very, very well. Look, there's nothing wrong with a little silliness, but this sounds almost Binksian. As in Jar Jar. I know Rocket Raccoon has been in the comics for a while and isn't just some dumb invention for the movie, but still. Is there a gas leak in the Marvel offices or something? What is happening? Rocket Raccoon. OK, whatever! Should be fun. [The Wrap]
He just can't stay away. Or the producers just couldn't handle any more of his begging. Whatever the reason, Randy Jackson is possibly heading back to American Idol. His departure as a judge was announced this past spring, and everyone figured that he and the show were parting ways for good. But no. See, Jimmy Iovine has been pushed out as the contestants' mentor, the guy who works with them during a rehearsal and then gives video feedback during the results show. The thinking is that Randy could step in and do that, so we'd still get his hootin' and dawgin', just not on the live shows. That seems fine to me. Everyone wins, right? Randy still has a job, but the show gets to freshen up its judges panel with new people. (Well, actually, erm, one new person. Keith Urban is onboard for his second season and Jennifer Lopez is returning for her third after a season-long break.) Will you be happy to see King Bowser back on American Idol? Will you be watching American Idol? Sigh. I'm worried I will be. [Deadline]
Elisabeth Hasselbeck is set to start her new cohosting gig on Fox News's No Exit-style morning show Fox & Friends on September 16. She'll be joining Brian "Chuckles" Kilmeade and Steve "Not Quite Sure Where I Am Right New" Doocy, while former blonde lady host Gretchen Carlson
walks back and forth in a dark closet until someone finds her and lets her out goes to anchor her own news block on the network. Are you excited? Are you already setting your DVRs? If you are, would you mind telling Steve how to do that, he just can't figure that dang thing out. [Entertainment Weekly]
Oh dear lord. Jean-Pierre Jeunet's adorable but aggressively quirky romantic comedy Amélie, the movie that made Audrey Tautou a star, is going to become a Broadway musical. Yes, Craig Lucas is working on the book while a guy from a Brooklyn band is working on the score. This could be serious, folks. I mean, can you imagine a bunch of New York musical theater actresses walking around with that haircut, practicing being all cutesy so they can win the part of Amélie? Stay outta Hell's Kitchen, is all I'm saying. Stay far, far away from that place. Actually, avoid everything about 14th street and below 125th for a while. It's probably the safest thing. [The Hollywood Reporter]
It's a nerd supernova! Game of Thrones actress Natalie Dormer has been cast in the next Hunger Games movie as Cressida. Take deep breaths! [Lionsgate]
Here is a trailer for Pompeii, the Paul W.S. Anderson movie about the eruption of Vesu — abs —vius in 79 A — absss — D. It looks as though they've invented some kind of battle story — absssss — line and — absssssss. All right! OK, I hear you. Yes, Kit Harrington from Game of Thrones is in it and he's got some abs. Duly noted. Now can we please have a serious discussion about this fil—Ah, what the hell, absssss.