Welcome to the Box Office Report, where we'd like to start a petition to have David Spade stricken from the record books. Can't we have a do-over there?
1. Despicable Me 2 (Universal): $44.8 million in 4,003 theaters [Week 2]
The minions are unstoppable. Accept them as our new box office overlords for face the dire consequences. Did you see the last guy who crossed them? They giggled him to death. Do you want to go out like that guy? Do you want to be remembered as the giggler? Just accept that the minions are here to stay and there won't be any problems. All hail, for the rest of the summer.
2. Grown Ups 2 (Sony): $42.5 million in 3,491 theaters
Because if Adam Sandler and his merry band of remember-the-90s comedians couldn't knock the minions off the top spot, well, they might as well stay there. Somehow Sandler, David Spade, Kevin James and Chris Rock teaming up to rehash the same jokes from their lazy 2010 vehicle earned more money the original Pacific Rim. (It hurts so much to have to include Rock with those dummies.) This was called "perhaps the closest Hollywood has yet come to making “Ow! My Balls!” seem like a plausible future project," by Variety's Andrew Barker. What is wrong with people? Movie-goers are dumb. But we already proved that, with science.
(Side-note: is Idiocracy the most referenced but least seen movie of all time? We say yes.)
3. Pacific Rim (Warner): $38.3 million in 3,275 theaters
Behind the scenes, the Box Office Report was Pacific Rim's biggest supporter. We were the cheerleader. But the reviews have been mixed, with similar complaints about shallow characters and familiar plot tropes holding back an otherwise fun movie of big robots fighting bigger, badder monsters to save humanity. The line determining whether or not you will enjoy Pacific Rim lies somewhere between these two reviews. It's up to you to figure it out.
4. The Heat (Fox): $14 million in 3,128 theaters [Week 3]
And here's The Heat hanging out in the middle because Melissa McCarthy can hold buzz like no one else in Hollywood. See Johnny Depp and The Lone Ranger down there? Let's talk about how embarrassing that is.
5. The Lone Ranger (Disney): $11.1 million in 3,904 theaters [Week 2]
A summer tentpole that cost more than $200 million is making less than $15 million in its second week, while a comedy that cost considerably less is making more in its third week. Weee! Hollywood is just grand. And this $11 million is a gruesome 60 percent drop from week one, signalling a fast drop off and a quick exit.