Today in celebrity gossip: Miley Cyrus confirms that her new song's obvious drug reference is indeed a drug reference; Ashton Kutcher is very, very rich; and Gwyneth Paltrow ate fried clams.
When Miley Cyrus' new single "We Can't Stop" and its (admittedly hilarious) music video dropped recently, you may have noticed a highly conspicuous drug reference buried amid all the rest of its lyrical nonsense. Yup, the phrase "dancing with Molly" is an obvious reference to the street name of MDMA (that's pharmaceutical ecstasy to you squares). Chances are you knew this and groaned at the former Disney Channel star's latest grab at street cred, but that didn't stop Cyrus and her producer from initially denying the connection, claiming instead that she was singing "dancing with Miley." Well, Cyrus now admits the obvious drug reference is in fact a drug reference and furthermore we should've known it was a drug reference via a minimal amount of due diligence: "You can Google me and you know what I'm up to -- you know what the lyric is saying." Fair enough! In a separate interview with the Daily Mail the erstwhile Hannah Montana continued her PR hot streak by discussing the current state of Justin Bieber's career and how she personally advised him to chill the EFF out. "I always tell him just to be cool and not talk about it because when you talk it fuels the fire. He’s still stupid though." And that sound bite, ladies and gentlemen, is why we still care about Miley Cyrus. [TMZ; Daily Mail]
The backlash against Ashton Kutcher's career began very shortly after his birth probably. It's honestly hard to remember the last time the name "Ashton Kutcher" was spoken aloud without an accompanying sigh of lament, but here we are: He's still successful. Extremely successful. And RICH. Not only did he make upwards of $24 million for his first season of Two and a Half Men, according to Page Six he's poised to make another cool $10 million in an unspecified endorsement deal, plus his venture capital fund is pushing $100 million in value. So there you have it, a widely disrespected comedic actor is the financial robber baron of his generation. Sure, Demi Moore gets a huge chunk after their divorce is finalized, but at this rate Ashton Kutcher will probably be just fine. Plus, he can always cheer himself up with a mirror or whatever reflective material is nearest. Don't cry for Ashton Kutcher. Unless he pays you to, because again, he's very rich. [Page Six]
And now, A Tale of Two Roses. [Please listen to this song while reading.] Big congratulations are in order for Rose McGowan on the occasion of her third engagement, this time to Los Angeles-based artist Davey Detail. The 39-year-old Shannen Doherty successor on Charmed and doggy-door murder victim from Scream was previously engaged to both Marilyn Manson and Robert Rodriguez but never walked down the aisle with either. So hopefully third time's the... Hmm can't think of the word. Anyway, congrats! Meanwhile, across town in the same sun-soaked city of broken dreams and tantalizing mirages, a British actress frowned in a grocery store. Yes, it's my unfortunate duty to report that Bridesmaids' Rose Byrne looked sad in a Gelson's. Why so sad, Rose Byrne? Nobody knows. But it's a scientific fact that leaving the house without makeup plus buying Ben & Jerry's equals sadness, and no amount of hunky shopping companions nor flourishing career will change that. #Pray4RoseByrne [Us Weekly; Daily Mail]
Did you know that Tina Turner got married over the weekend? In Switzerland? In a green dress and in a Buddhist ceremony at which Brian Adams performed? And to her 57-year-old boyfriend of 26 years? Now you do. All of those things are true about Tina Turner's wedding, but the 73-year-old bride was STILL upstaged by a pair of sassy wedding guests: Oprah Winfrey and her "friend" Gayle King. That's right, Oprah made her ostensible life partner Stedman Graham stay home with the koi while she and King gallivanted around the Swiss hotel in jogging attire, just drinking in each other's lifelong companionship. Don't feel bad for Stedman though; he's on the seventh episode of Orange Is the New Black and his twelfth e-cigarette. It's called VACATION. [Daily Mail]
As if flying weren't nerve-racking enough, recently several dozen American Airlines passengers really raised the stakes by approaching and engaging with Martha Stewart while her flight to France was stuck on the runway. According to Page Six, over 20 thrill-seekers lined up for face-time with the mythological anti-hero, offering both business cards and personal recipes in order to look danger in the eye and get that quick hit of sweet, sweet adrenaline. For her part Stewart declined to use her canines to bring the True Death, perhaps because one saintly individual presented Stewart with an offering of a "pepperoni she made." Unfortunately Stewart's friendly streak didn't last, as upon arrival in France she felled the Arc de Triomphe with her bare hands. [Page Six]
Finally, in Hey, How Are Celebrities' Summers Going? news, Gwyneth Paltrow and her family, some of whom are members of Coldplay, recently wandered in off the beach and converged upon a Hamptons clam bar, Clam Bar. Do you want to know what they ate? Clams mostly. Later Jerry Seinfeld arrived and was like, "Hey, who ate all the clams?" Gwyneth Paltrow did. Elsewhere in the Hamptons, embattled curmudgeon Alec Baldwin attempted to attend a party at Sienna Restaurant & Ultralounge and grew so incensed at their outrageous lack of valet parking he decided to double-park his Mercedes SUV in front of the driveway. It's not stated whether Alec Baldwin's car was keyed that night, but keep in mind that Mariska Hargitay also attended that same party. You do the math. [Page Six; Page Six]