There are a few things in this world that everyone, no exceptions, should know are bad ideas. Never go home with someone who says he lives "down by the docks." Never say yes to someone who says, "Hey, wanna see my gun?" Never wear Tevas. And never, ever, ever, and I mean ever, piss off Naomi Campbell. Seriously. That last one is an especially bad idea. How bad? Well just ask model and The Face contestant Luo Zilin, who was seen cavorting with Campbell's ex-boyfriend, Russian oligarch Vladimir Doronin, in Ibiza recently and has since been dumped by her management company, supposedly at Campbell's behest. Campbell is now going after Zilin's Chinese modeling agency, insisting they drop their client in an attempt to destroy Zilin's career. This according to Page Six, anyway. A source close to Campbell says it's not true, but c'mon. It's gotta be true, right? It's not like Naomi Campbell has been some angelic figure prior to this. She can be a cellphone-throwing, maid-slapping madwoman when she wants to be, so I would in no way put it past her to do this in a jealous rage. Obviously Campbell is overreacting and is mostly in the wrong here, but you gotta wonder what this Luo Zilin person was thinking. I mean, Campbell was her mentor on the show, and she didn't think that maybe might complicate matters when she started canoodling with Campbell's ex-boyfriend? Has she ever heard of Naomi Campbell? I mean if I were to ever come in contact with Naomi Campbell I would not look her in the eye, I would bow down low, and I would say nothing but "Yes, Ms. Campbell" until I had the opportunity to run away. I wouldn't take a french fry off her plate, let alone start dating someone she dated for five years. Nope, never. So of course this isn't exactly Zilin's fault, but c'mon. You don't touch the third rail for a reason. [Page Six]

Leonardo DiCaprio has been making his way around France for the past week, and was seen yesterday touring Versailles with Tobey Maguire and, get this, a Victoria's Secret model. Yup, Leonardo DiCaprio, palling around with a lingerie model. Can you imagine that? How strange. He usually dates lawyers and schoolteachers and investigative journalists. But this time, for some crazy reason, he's dating a 20-year-old Victoria's Secret model. Oh well! Guess it's good to try new things, right? So yeah, they got a private tour of the place in the evening, the model, a German named Toni Garrn, snapping photos while Leo and Tobey, I dunno, talked about Nancy Jo Sales. People has a supposed eyewitness who says of the scene, "It was like a first date. You do a touristy thing. You go out with a girl and your friend." Which... what? You do? You take a friend with you on a first date and do a touristy thing? So when I meet someone I want to go on a date with I, what, tell him I'll see him at the top of the Empire State Building and show up with a buddy? I've been doing first dates wrong my whole life, I guess. Have you? Did you all know about this tourist spot/buddy system first date thing? Sheesh. Anyway, when they were done with the tour, everyone said thank you and while shaking the guide's hand Leo leaned in and said, "I'll take it." [People]

Nobody cares about the whole LeAnn Rimes/Brand Glanville feud, I'm pretty sure. Yes, country singer Rimes took up with Real Housewives star Glanville's husband Eddie Cibrian while they were still married, but who gives a hoot. The only reason I'm bringing attention to it today is that there are two things in the latest Us Weekly post on the matter that should be brought to your attention. The first is a long quote, from Rimes:

The thing is, Eddie and I are very proud of the home and family that we have. We don't like drama, and we don't want to be part of it. We can't control the people around us, but we can control [how] we handle drama, and we've made a very peaceful life for ourselves and I'm very happy with that. There's a lot of drama on the outside and we've finally learned how to not let it in. ... I definitely have to bite my tongue a lot of the time. There's a fine line because I don't want to be run over and I do stand up for myself. But I also don't want to feed into the drama. I did say, "I do music, not drama." I don't need drama to have a career. And so I plan on, as much as possible, to not feed into it.

"Drama." Why sweet god in heaven did we ever teach famous people that word. It's almost as bad as reality stars saying "the media," isn't it? "Drama" might be the second most annoying word used by celebrities who give long quotes to Us Weekly. "We don't like drama." Every sh-tty celebrity on the face of the planet has said some variation of that phrase at some point, and it is just the worst. Mary J, tell 'em.. No more of that. Anyway, the second thing that is of note in this otherwise unremarkable fart of an article (farticle, I suppose) is this descriptor: "Rimes, who recently moved into a new house with the Hot in Cleveland guest star..." Hahahah. They just described Eddie Cibrian as " the Hot in Cleveland guest star." That is pretty low, Us Weekly. I mean, CSI: Miami wasn't that long ago and he was on like 25 episodes of that. He'd probably prefer a simple "American human" to "Hot in Cleveland guest star." I have to think this was intentional on Us Weekly's part, and that is wonderful. Such drama. Watch out, LeAnn. It's drama. Do you think LeAnn Rimes can't watch TNT? Probably not. Drama. [Us Weekly]

Katie Holmes was seen having dinner in the West Village on Tuesday night with none other than famous Ally McBeal creator, I mean highly influential feminist, Gloria Steinem. This prompted Page Six to ask, "Is Katie Holmes a budding feminist?" Which, huh, what. First off, she's a single mother running two careers who got out from under a controlling husband. There's some streak of feminism going on there, I'd say. Second of all, Gloria Steinem does talk about other things, probably. Like, I'm sure she watches Homeland or something and likes talking about that, or wonders aloud about what William and Kate should name their baby. She's a human being with many and varied interests, I'd have to assume. So it's very possible that she and Katie Holmes had a whole dinner where the big topic of Feminism didn't come up once. I mean, I'm sure the topic in some way informs the rest of the conversation, but it's definitely possible that Katie Holmes and Gloria Steinem were just having dinner, not a feminism meeting. I don't know. It's silly. As Page Six points out, both women are from Toledo originally. So maybe they were talking about their favorite thing to get at Tony Packo's or something. They could have been talking about literally anything. [Page Six]