Today in celebrity news: Justin Bieber's guards are armed, Kristin from Laguna Beach is married, and Bradley Cooper has a new lady. 

News keeps getting worse for the Biebs. Not only are members of his security team being accused of assault, after they grabbed a paparazzo's camera and pulled out its memory card, but now the aggrieved photographer is saying that one of the security guys pulled a freaking gun on him. Well, OK, according to the lawsuit filed against the security guy and Bieber himself the gun was simply "displayed," but still. Justin Bieber's bodyguards carry guns, you guys. Firearms. Justin Bieber has an entourage of armed men. Justin Bieber probably has more protection on him at any given moment than a former president. That is crazy. I'm sure that the poor kid has probably endured way more than his fair share of obsessed teen girls and other crazed fans, so it does make sense that he would be pretty adamant about his security, but guns are next level. That's a big deal, Justin. Please don't sic your armed bodyguards on anyone. That's a really, really bad idea and makes you look like a supervillain with henchmen. Even if you're in the right, it's wrong. Speaking of wrong, someone threw a bra on stage during a Bieber concert and he snapped a photo of it and put it on Instagram. His caption? "I guess everyone grows up." Isn't that a little creepy?? I find that a little creepy. Or if not creepy, certainly strange. Is he talking about his fans' breasts growing? If so, I really do not approve. If he's saying that he's arrived at a new point in his career where a bra is thrown on stage instad of, like, a teddy bear or something, then it's an oddly wistful sentiment to caption a picture of a bra with. I don't know. Kids do Internet different than us. Who knows what anything means. [TMZ; Us Weekly]

Speaking of everyone growing up, Kristin from Laguna Beach got married this weekend. She already has a kid so it's not like she hasn't been living as an adult already, but this sort of proves that she is really a grownup person. Kristin, who used to make Lauren Conrad's life a living hell simply by dating Lauren's beloved Stephen Colletti, is now married with a kid. Married with a kid! Kristin. What's next, Talan getting a divorce? Lo reconciling with her dying mother? Jason Wahler paying his bills on time? Everyone's growing up! And it's sad and strange but it's a part of life, isn't it. Congratulations Kristin. I hope it all works out. But if it doesn't, you could still do a reality show about being fabulous in California. You're still young, after all. [Us Weekly]

Bradley Cooper has been seen canoodling. With a British model. A lady British model. He was at some sort of Spike TV awards show this weekend and was spotted holding hands with Suki Waterhouse, a fancier version of Sookie Stackhouse. (Water trumps stack, every time.) Waterhouse is a cool 20 to Cooper's 38, so that's terrific. Bradley and Leo DiCaps should have a chat about their 20-year-old model girlfriends. "Does she ever talk about homework?" "Yes, she does on occasion talk about homework. It wasn't that long ago that she had homework." I suppose that's being judgy. Love is love, right? Who cares that she was born in 1993 and he was born in 1975. What does that matter. Not much, when in a People magazine article you have this sentence, "The Hangover Part III star is still sporting his short haircut." Still sporting his short haircut? What would the alternative be? Wearing a wig? Willing his hair to quickly grow back? I don't really know what else he was supposed to be sporting, or even could sport. If he just got a shot haircut, his hair is going to be short. That's all he can sport. [People]

Sofia Vergara was at a party in the Hamptons this weekend, rubbing elbows with billionaires and former New York governor David Patterson. The party was thrown by some Romney-supporting hedge funder, so it was probably a great time. What could go wrong there? Well something did go wrong, apparently. Vergara didn't like the music that the DJ was playing so she went up to him and asked him to play some Pitbull. He couldn't hear her or understand her though, so it seems that Pitbull didn't get played. Which is ultimately fine. Pitbull shouldn't have been played. Asking a DJ at a millionaire's party to play Pitbull is a bit like ordering chicken fingers at Per Se, y'know? I mean, a millionaire shouldn't have a DJ at his party at all -- hire a band, dude -- but Pitbull is really a bridge too far. Oh and by the way, this is the hedge funder who hosted the dinner where Mitt Romney was caught on camera saying bad things about poor people. So, sounds like a great party, Sofia! Sorry about the Pitbull. [Page Six]

Here is a photo of Beverly Hills 90210 actor Ian Ziering in his Chippendale's gear. Oh yeah he's guesting the Chippendale's all male revue in Las Vegas until the end of the month. And now there's a picture of him, well actually several pictures of him, in action. Do you like it? Does it please you? If it does, you might be Andrea Zuckerman. Or Claire Arnold. But probably Andrea. Sure she always had a crush on Brandon, but Steve's sexual dynamism really got her gears going. So, enjoy, Andrea. It's all for you. [Too Fab]