Today in celebrity news: Leo DiCaprio had a huge art auction this week, J.Lo has purchased a huge house, and Prince Harry is huge. 

Little Leo DiCaprio has been running away from his old Pussy Posse days for years now, establishing himself as a serious adult who cares about the environment and only dates one underwear model at a time. And it seems to have stuck. On Monday night he hosted a charity art auction at Christie's that was the highest-grossing environmental charity event ever, according to one person, raising some $38.8 million for wildlife causes. The auction had works by the likes of Julian Schnabel and Banksy, and drew bold faced names like Bradley Cooper, Salma Hayek, and former Posse member Tobey Maguire. And man, things sold like hotcakes. There was a bidding war that ended in a $6.5 million sale, while a "pharmaceutical mogul" — renowned pill peddler Stewart Rahr — paid "more than $1 million" for a portrait of DiCaprio. For a portrait of DiCaprio! Where will hang that, his one million-dollar portrait of Leonardo DiCaprio? His very fancy daughter's room? An odd purchase. Leo himself plopped down $735,000 for a Takashi Murakami. Which is kind of a weird empty gesture. I mean this whole thing was for his foundation, so why not just give the foundation $735,000? I guess the fun of it was to buy something at the auction, but I don't know. Still seems strange. Just give the money... to your foundation. Seems like it would be a relatively easy process. Just log onto the Bank of America website and make the transfer from your checking account to your foundation account. It's a snap. But, whatever. He did good. This is a good thing. A little flashy, but what do you expect. He's the one-time Pussy Prince of New York. He can't have a regular old gala like everyone else. He has a reputation to uphold. [Page Six]

Speaking of flashy, Jennifer Lopez has paid $10 million for a new Hamptons mansion in Water Mill, an 8,000 square-foot palace that has eight bedrooms and seven bathrooms. (Sucks for those two bedrooms that have to share a bathroom, I guess.) It also has a pool, a pool house, a pool car, and the pool has its own summer house on Shelter Island. And there's a private theater, a sauna, and probably a washer and dryer in the unit. It's pretty luxe. The place used to be a rental, going for $425,000 per summer, but J.Lo wanted to buy, so bought she has. I hope she'll enjoy it! It doesn't seem like these celebrity types actually get to spend much time in any of their chosen homes, but maybe now that she's got kids and all, she will actually have to find the time to stay in one place. And what a place! You could spend the first week trying each bathroom! Really a dream castle, this house. [Us Weekly]

While on the topic of money, the contentious divorce between Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore has gotten... contentiouser. They are now fighting over $10 million that is tied up in Ashton's venture capital fund. Oh, yeah, remember when Ashton decided to become a savvy tech investor? He's actually, sigh, not bad at it. So yeah, I guess Moore wants some of that sweet Silicon cash, but Ashton doesn't want to give it up, so there's a fight. A terrible divorce fight. Man, getting divorced sounds miserable. Especially when you're rich! Getting divorced when you're poor is probably a snap, no muss, no fuss. You're just poor and divorced. Just like that. Easy street. No whammies. But if you're a TV star turned tech millionaire or the former highest-paid actress in showbiz? Total nightmare. You gotta feel for them. [Page Six]

In case you couldn't detect the low-level shriek that's been a constant sound in the Tri-State area since yesterday, Prince Harry's in town. Yesterday he toured the Jersey coastline, then headed to New York, showing up in Chelsea on a double-decker bus to promote British tourism (he chose Chelsea because if he did the same thing in Hell's Kitchen he'd be torn to pieces) and playing baseball with some little ones up in Harlem. New York One has a video of the event and at one point there's a little girl who says "Wow, he knows how to hit!" and the look on her face suggests that she now has a lifelong crush. That'll happen, little girl. That'll happen. So this trip seems to be going pretty smoothly, huh? Harry's good at this stuff when he's not drunk and naked in a hotel room. Not that there's anything wrong with being drunk and naked in a hotel room, but y'know. Publicity-wise, for the crown, this trip has gone better than the last. He'd just better stay away from boobs. (I think my favorite thing about that years-old breast-grab photo is William in the back, with some sort of fabulous cocktail, making that face. Good for you, William!) [NY1]

Katie Holmes is filming a new movie in New York and she keeps getting asked out by the crew. Extras too! Dudes are just going for the gusto and approaching her and seeing if she wants to go out on a date. She keeps saying no, but they keep trying. And it's apparently annoying the director of the movie. Maybe because it's distracting, sure, but probably because he had plans to ask her out too and now it's like the surprise is ruined. Stupid crew. Stupid extras. Don't they know the rules? You wait for the director to hit on the leading lady first, then if that fails, other people can try. It's a showbiz rule as old as "never work with children or animals." It's like people don't respect the old traditions anymore. Randos scamming on Katie Holmes, Matt Damon making We Bought a Zoo. What has this business become? [Page Six]