Today in celeb news: Reese Witherspoon apologizes for her drunken behavior, Tara Reid is bounced out for hers, and Duchess Kate has a bump.

Like anyone sifting through the wreckage of a bad night, Reese Witherspoon is now apologizing for the drunken behavior that got her arrested this weekend, yelling at the cops for arresting her husband for a DUI and trying to play the "Do you know who I am?" celebrity thing. That was late Friday night/early Saturday morning, and since then she's been to the New York premiere of her movie Mud and issued an apology. Yeah, she did a very PR-approved public sorry, which reads as follows:

Out of respect for the ongoing legal situation, I cannot comment on everything that is being reported right now. But I do want to say, I clearly had one drink too many and I am deeply embarrassed about the things I said. It was definitely a scary situation and I was frightened for my husband, but that is no excuse. I was disrespectful to the officer who was just doing his job. The words I used that night definitely do not reflect who I am. I have nothing but respect for the police and I'm very sorry for my behavior.

So, OK, gracious enough. Though it's hard to shake the whole in vino veritas thing, meaning if she would act on the whole "I can't get in trouble, I'm famous!" thing when drunk, doesn't it kinda mean she thinks it while sober? Who knows, and ultimately who really cares, but it does make her seem less of the people than she maybe used to. You know, this $20 million-per-movie famous person who lives in a mansion in Los Angeles. She seemed like one of us. Except in all major ways. But now that's all over. [Us Weekly; TMZ]

Speaking of bad celebrity behavior but dialing the "celebrity" down considerably, Tara Reid was ushered out of a store in Los Angeles while shopping, after she berated store employees for not giving her a discount because she's famous. Yeah she tried to ask for a discount at the store All Saints, described as an "edgy Brit band," and was refused, which left her "screaming" until she was escorted out. "She seemed drunk," said a supposed witness. Which, like, I think you could just say "She seemed Tara Reid." Sadly, at this point, at any point, you don't have to say "she seemed drunk," you can just say "Tara Reid." It's unfortunate. But, y'know, that's what the world is. [Page Six]

Hey, look at Kate's baby bump! I can't say Kate Middleton because she's not Kate Middleton anymore, but that's who I mean. Duchess Kate, future Queen, one day Empress, eternal lady of the British afterlife. Her. She's got a baby bump! She was at some event this weekend and there were photos taken, of course, and she's got a belly fulla baby! That's nice. She's due in July, so you'd think the bump would be a little bigger, but this is the Duchess of Cambridge we're talking about here. Everything in her life is carefully controlled, including baby bumps. There's probably some future wet nurse somewhere who's holding most of the bump for Kate. "Yes mum," she says, poor dirt-faced Fionnula, when she's told to carry the Lady's bump. That's the life she was born into, alas. But anyway. July! July is not very far away. Can you believe we'll have a new royal baby so soon? Little Gregory the Destroyer or Margaret the Cruel. So exciting. [Us Weekly]

Are Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez hanging out again? Justin tweeted out a picture of the two of them this weekend before swiftly deleting it, but people saw it. People did see it. So was it current, this photo of the two of them looking drunk and maybe a little high on funny grass? Or was it just some old photo that JB tweeted for some reason? Who knows! I mean, I'm sure some crazed Belieber somewhere knows. The one who's been following Justin surreptitiously for years, dressed up in a really elaborate bodyguard costume, sweating under all the latex and wig work and all that. I'm sure that girl, whose parents declared missing some three years ago, knows what's up with Selena and Justin. But the rest of us don't. And she's not blowing her cover to come and tell us. No, she's in deep. Some say too deep. But whatever the case, she's not talking. So we'll have to guess. I say they hang out and, y'know, do stuff or whatever once in a while but they're not officially dating. Like kids do. Why do they need to put a label on it, right? Don't be so old fashioned, everyone. [Daily Mail]

Suri Cruise and her mom Katie Holmes did some girly stuff on Saturday. The newly seven-year-old child and her mother went to a nail place in Tribeca and got mani/pedis together. Because what seven-year-old doesn't need a pedicure. Just a really practical thing for a small child to have done. Which, ha, funny joke, imagining that anything related to Suri Cruise's life in any way could ever be called "practical." All future galactic space queens have practical childhoods, ha ha, yeah right. Oh Suri. She'll rule us all someday. [People]

Daniel Radcliffe is short. His friends are tall. He smokes cigarettes. He went to a wedding. A photo essay. [Daily Mail]