It's April 1, so while you were pulling pranks at the office and maybe bringing some actual humor to this day, the Internet and the major entities therein tried their darnedest to play along. The results, as is typical for gigantic tech companies, news outlets, and other creatures of the web when trying a little too hard to be funny and "go viral," are mixed. Here's a look at the 2013 bag:
The White House Goes for Fart Jokes
A very special message from our nation's highest office that includes the (Kid) President making fart noises every time he take a step away from the podium. And we thought the little guy was just the king of March Madness.
Hulu and the Shows You've Really Always Wanted to See
We know you've always wanted to watch the shows within the shows, and today only Itchy and Scratchy (from The Simpons), Inspector Spacetime (from Community) and Rural Juror (that movie Jenna did on 30 Rock) are getting their day in the (fake) sun: Hulu has finally answered your wishes by addings all three of those fictional shows to their viewing menu.
Netflix Gets Really Specific
The Guardian's Glasses Are Way Nicer Than Google's Glasses
We'd rather wear these "augmented reality" glasses that "feature optional built-in anti-bigotry technology, which prevents exposure to non-Guardian opinions by blacking out columns by Melanie Phillips or Richard Littlejohn," whoever they are, than Google's dorky looking glasses. Maybe they block out Peggy Noonan, too.
Facebook Did WHAT?!
U.K. based tech blog Simply Zesty has a fake post announcing a new Facebook feature that would allow you to see who viewed your profile. You could track who is creeping you, basically, and it would be horrifying and amazing and everyone would use it. Except that Facebook got rid of this functionality years ago and, well, we guess you can always go pay for this on LinkedIn.
Virgin Hopes You Aren't Terrified of Heights
Don't look down while flying in Virgin's new glass-bottomed plane. If you'll excuse us, we're going to go shake with fear.
Four Words: Play-Doh 3D Printer
ThinkGeek does great stuff every April Fools' Day, and 2013 is no exception. You can spend $49.99 on a Play-Doh 3D printer, or $11.99 on a rather morbid Batman family decal for your car. The wisest use of your money would be this Eye of Sauron desk lamp, though, — too bad it "retails" for $299.99:
IKEA Made a Lawn-Mower
It's totally flat and easy to store. It could fit in your porch, your shed, or your kitchen! It might even outsell that Play-Dog printer. Look at those fancy colors!
The Daily Caller Shouldn't Be Allowed to be This Funny
Did you know the Daily Caller was founded on Spring Break in 2009 while filming a Girls Gone Wild video?
...and Digg's Password-Protected Humor
The nerds at Digg go for a little vide-game nostalgia, requiring you to enter the notorious Konami code to see their April Fools' Day joke. Go over to their site and plug in up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, b, a to see their contribution. It's worth it.
American Eagle Spray-On Skinny Jeans
Because people would probably buy these.
Wh Nds Vwls n Aprl Fl's Dy?
Twitter discovered a way to sure-fire way to monetize their product. "Starting today, we are shifting to a two-tiered service: Everyone can use our basic service, Twttr, but you only get consonants. For five dollars a month, you can use our premium "Twitter" service which also includes vowels," the company announced.
All the Google Stuff
The nerds over at Google take their April Fools' Day stuff very, very seriously — and this year is no exception. All the important Google products got the April Fools' treatment, though we'd argue some of these would actually be good ideas or improvements on existing products. You can read all about all of them here. Of particular note, though, was Google's introduction of Google Nose, the first smell-o-vision inspired search option. And Gmail is going blue, apparently:
And this would be a great idea, if it were real — Google Maps goes treasure hunting:
Oh, and YouTube is closing because it was actually a contest all along:
Stay closed. Ban Youtube.
Yale Buries the Lede
It's chicken tender day at Yale, per the Yale Daily News, and something about Hillary Clinton.
The Internet Likes Cats, Right?
A lot of marketing teams said "people really like cats on the Internet, right?" during their April Fools' brain storming session. The U.S. military drafted Grumpy Cat for their new cat training program. And Vimeo relaunched as Vimeow, the place for all your cat videos:
Sony probably wins this category with their announced line of Animalia products geared towards cats, dogs and hamsters. Learn more about the K9 4K TV, M3-OW KittyCans, and In-Cage Speakers below. (Warning: This video contains dogs wearing bandanas and will improve your day.)
Oh, We Hear You Like Instagram...
The most addictive photo app on the planet still isn't available for phones with the Windows mobile operating system. You still can't share Amaro-filtered photos of your dog, or your cat, or your latte, or even your April Fools' pranks. Well, until today.
Except not really: Microsoft made the jerk move of adding a fake Instagram download page in its Windows Phone app store today. "It's a free, fun, and simple way to share gorgeous photos on your Windows Phone, your #2InstaWithLove prayers have been answered," read the entry. The joke was so bad they seem to have removed the fake app entirely. Which goes to show you that sometimes, when everyone else is making pretty good jokes, it's best to avoid a bad joke altogether.
But, anyway, Happy April Fools' Day, and may the Internet not ruin it for you entirely.