From the White House to the Republican movement and Twitter to TV, Donald Trump has been even more absurdly vocal than usual on politics of late, if that's even possible. And the worst part? Everyone's giving him a soapbox, and not just Fox News. Actually, the worst part is that this is all probably a ploy for Celebrity Apprentice ratings.

On Wednesday, Trump officially claimed victory on Twitter for taking his latest publicity stunt all the way to the top, and if the White House actually having to respond to something Donald Trump said isn't enough to make you sick on a Wednesday, well, you've got a tougher stomach than we do. "The Donald Trump option is not an option — what we have to do is deal with the sequester," White House senior adviser Dan Pfeiffer told CNN's Wolf Blitzer on Tuesday night. So, blame Wolf Blitzer if you please (it's easy), but Pfeiffer was, in fact, responding to an offer from Trump, made on Fox News, to fund the cutbacks in White House tours as a result of sequestration. The offer, of course, was ridiculous, and Pfeiffer said as much: "It doesn't work that way; we can’t have private individuals paying the Secret Service — so that’s not how it works," Pfeiffer said. "This is about a very tough budget cut that the Secret Service has to take because of the sequester. It’s why we should have avoided the sequester to begin with."

This particular bit of Trump headline-stealing stems from a simple tweet from former Speaker, failed Presidential candidate, and space and animal enthusiast Newt Gingrich: 

Newt, ever the ideas man, thought Trump would be the perfect benefactor to keep the White House tours from being sacrificed by sequester cuts. Trump was somehow unaware of someone famous talking about him in the media, until he appeared on Fox and Friends and ran with it: 

On Wednesday, he tweeted a couple links to the White House response, effectively claiming victory while keeping the useless conversation going:

Well, they won't, but Trump's been getting offers from all around Washington of late. He was a surprise late addition to the already strange "all-star" speaking lineup this weekend at the Conservative Political Action Conference, despite a long list of reasons he should be blocked at the door. And, on top of the mere fact that's he's appearing before a crowd that's at least supposed to signal the future direction of the GOP and the conservative movement — after his embarrassing showing on election night, no less — he's speaking there again. They're letting him talk! And they're letting him speak longer than heir apparents to the GOP leadership throne like Rand Paul, Rick Perry, Bobby Jindal, Scott Walker, Marco Rubio, and Paul Ryan. He's expecting a big audience, apparently:

Of course, this is all a very Trump-ian trick. It's timing, you see, all lining up to promote his silly reality show, Celebrity Apprentice, which just started up again on NBC. He doesn't have ideas! He doesn't want conservative action. He wants ratings. His dinky show is in its umpteenth season — the real number doesn't matter because it's umpteen more times than it ever should have aired in the first place — with esteemed "All-Star" contestants like Bret Michaels, Lil Jon, Gary Busey, Lisa Rinna, the fifth Baldwin brother, and — you guessed it! — North Korean "diplomat" turned papal homeboy Dennis Rodman.

Trump approves of Rodman's antics, but Washington doesn't. Why can't our political leadership just give this guy the worm treatment already? Because, really, that's all he's been in 2013. Sure, maybe the White House told him to shut up, but they still had to tell him something. Oh, well. In the meantime: Tune in on Sunday! If you hate yourself!