Today in celebrity news: Miley Cyrus and her fiance may have split up, a Real Housewife says some embarrassing things for once, and the new Bachelor couple is savin' it for the wedding day.
Long rumored, now confirmed-ish: Teen superstar turned twentysomething curiosity Miley Cyrus and her fiancé Liam Hemsworth, second-string Hunger Games star and second-string Hemsworth brother, have split up. It seems that Hemsworth was having a hard time dealing with Cyrus's hard-partying lifestyle and that caused a rift in the relationship that could not be closed. Who knows what either of these people's lives are actually like, but from the looks of it out here in sad weirdo ville, Miley does seem to enjoy the occasional nightclub or two, which then leads to her recording terrible songs with dopes. Meanwhile Liam is of course toiling away on his farm, building furniture and selling it to outsiders whom he calls English, living a humble and simple life that's good in its godliness and godly in its goodness. The two really do not mesh. And so it's over. Hemsworth has flown home to Australia so he can hang out with his brothers and his friends and just figure things out. Meanwhile Cyrus will meet up with friends and have a few more unremarkable late nights out and they'll both start to move on. After all, he's 23 and she's 20, and for them to get married would have been way more ridiculous than them breaking up. Live your lives, kids. Go to clubs, don't go to clubs, who cares, it doesn't matter. What matters is that you're young and have the time. Have fun. Whatever. Go for it. [Page Six]
Oh brother. Real Housewives of Beverly Hills "star" Brandi Glanville — she's the one who's famous because LeAnn Rimes stole her husband — was on Bravo witch Andy Cohen's cable access program Watch What Happens Live! on Monday night and a couple of unfortunate things happened. One was that Glanville said she felt "vindicated" by the fact that actor Gerard Butler, mutton heap made human, confirmed to Howard Stern that the two had slept together after Glanville publicly rhapsodized about his lovemaking abilities to Cohen on an earlier show. Butler described the affair as a "one-afternooner," which was enough for Brandi. The two apparently have been in touch and Brandi has apologized for airing private details so publicly. So I don't know who should be more upset, Gerard Butler for sleeping with Brandi Glanville, or Brandi Glanville for sleeping with Gerard Butler. Both are pretty bad. Anyway, the second yikes-y thing that Brandi did on the show was take on Chelsea Handler, who was one of Andy Cohen's victims not too long ago and said some disparaging things about the Real Housewives franchise. Glanville said "Chelsea, suck it!" and then added the following: "We know each other, we have the same gaygent. I made out with her lesbian friend and her assistant and her brother, so she hates me." Which... I don't care about most of that, she's free to make out with anyone she wants, making out with people is not a crime, but "gaygent"?? Pardon me, Ms. Glanville, but what in misty f-cking acres is a "gaygent"? I mean, I'm pretty sure I know what it means, but really? Gaygent. That's the lamest f-cking thing I've read in days. Well, second lamest. Here's the first lamest: "Speaking to Andy Cohen at Watch What Happens Live! in Austin, Tex. -- where WWHL is filming all week for SXSW." Hahah. Yeah. Andy Cohen and friends are at SXSW. So, to all those currently milling around Austin with their Google Glasses on, rubbing elbows with David Karp or whoever, just know that Andy Cohen and his double-wide of saddos are also there. So don't feel too cool. Because that's happening there too. [Us Weekly; Us Weekly]
Do you want to know why the latest Bachelor Sean Lowe and his just-revealed fiance Catherine Giudici are waiting to do it? Well now you can find out. People magazine has a whole cover article about why Sean has decided to not put his penis inside Catherine's vagina until after they have had a minister say a few words, if you care to read it. I say that Sean has decided because it seems that Catherine's best response to the whole situation is, "I honor him." Sean says he's doing so because, "I've lived life kind of selfishly for a long time. Now, I'm going to try to live it the way I know to be right." He is described as a "conservative Christian" and a "born-again virgin." Which, OK America. Why the hell not. We're saying gaygent and babymoon and frenemy, I guess we might as well start casually accepting the phrase "born-again virgin." A phrase which, by the way, means absolutely nothing whatsoever, it has literally zero meaning, but whatever. What do words mean, anyway. Cheesy nonsense sentiment that signifies only silly self-delusion is more powerful than words. Just let it wash over you, everyone. Catherine honors her born-again virgin who's a conservative Christian and whom she met on The Bachelor, a television show where a man literally dates dozens of women at one time until he eventually picks one, meaning it's all up to him and it has to be fine with the women that the man they "love" is seeing a bunch of other women. They of course are seeing no one else. What a born-again virgin, conservative Christian, honoring thing to do. Great story. [People]
Top Chef food nibbler Padma Lakshmi is in a relationship with Sikh hotelier Vikram Chatwal that seems to be getting serious. They just went on a vacation to India together and the two were seen at Capitale down on Bowery on Monday night, where Padma was hosting an event. So that must mean they're getting married! I mean if it's not serious, who's going to some boring charity event that their significant other is hosting? Only people who really mean it do that. Otherwise you pretend you have a work thing or just kinda say "I don't think so..." and stay home. But he didn't do that. He went. Which means we could be hearing wedding bells pretty soon. [Page Six]
Some lady is suing Judge Judy because she says that Judge Judy bought some dishes for way less than they are worth, which she claims is $500,000. Yes, $500,000 dishes. The lady claims that Judge Judy and the lady's ex-husband colluded to offload the dishes on Judge Judy for way less than they were worth so the lady would be screwed over. But a judge has said that the dishes were valued at way less than $500,000. Which, well, yeah. They're dishes. I don't care if the plates came tumbling out of Alexander the Great's ass, no set of dishes is worth $500,000 for heaven's sake. If Jesus himself ate out of a particular bowl, no one should pay more than twenty-five, thirty dollars for it. It's a dish. Let's all get over a dish. Also: Suing Judge Judy? I really can't imagine that it's a good idea to sue Judge Judy. She's a Judge. Named Judy. She knows what she's doing. [TMZ]
Here are some pictures of small Hayden Panettiere with some big things, specifically a truck and a snake. She is small, they are big, that's the whole deal. It's a study in contrasts. [Daily Mail]