Today in celebrity gossip: America's most beloved couple is no more, Jon Hamm's ham is too big, and Kelsey Grammer's bed was taken.
Though it seemed like a match made in heaven — he of the racist penis, she of the homophobic "soft hello" singles — John Mayer and Katy Perry have split up again. Yes, it's the second time they've broken up, but maybe this time it's for good. It's unclear what exactly ended the relationship, which was going strong earlier this month if Perry's Twitter was to be believed, but it likely had something to do with their schedules. Perry is recording another unholy album so is holed up in the studio a lot, while Mayer is recovering from vocal problems and throat surgery. Sometimes things just don't work out, even if it's an on-paper perfect match. If you are having trouble dealing with this, grief counselors are on hand to help. And try to take comfort in the knowledge that John is on the mend while Katy will soon have new music to thrill and delight you. The world is sometimes scary and difficult, but it also rewards us for our perseverance. So hold fast. Be strong. We will get through this together. [Us Weekly]
Uh. It seems that Jon Hamm's "impressive anatomy" is too impressive for the brass at AMC, who have concerns that the actor's assets are too much on display in the new season of Mad Men. See, everyone's wearing tight suits now that it's the mid-late '60s, and his parts are making distracting cameos because of it. So, "Hamm was politely instructed by a staffer at the network to please wear underwear while shooting his scenes." Yes, it was someone's job to tell Jon Hamm to put on underpants while he's at work. Isn't Hollywood strange? I think it's pretty strange. Anyway, well done Mr. Hamm. Or rather, well done to your publicist. This is the kind of gossip story most actors could only dream of. [New York Daily News]
Kelsey Grammer has moved on and married a new woman and had a new baby, but his ex-wife Camille is still interfering with his life. Kelsey and his new bride, a blow-up doll he lovingly calls Roz, have moved into the Malibu home he once shared with Camille after trying to sell it unsuccessfully for $16 million. The trouble is, Camille got all the furniture in the divorce settlement, so her assistant recently showed up with some movers and took the very bed that Kelsey and Roz were sleeping on. Kelsey apparently was a bit angry, but there was nothing to be done. The bed was a Michael Taylor design, so I guess it was quite fancy? Oh well, Kelsey can afford a new one. Or he and Roz can sleep in a cheap race car bed or something. Whatever works for them. The real takeaway from this story is that Camille Grammer has a very brave assistant! I mean, can you imagine? Showing up to Kelsey Grammer's house and saying "Hi, I'm here to take your furniture"? That takes some guts! Kelsey Grammer is scary. Camille has hired well. Either that or the Bolivian marching powder she shoved up the poor girl's nose just before she left, thrash metal playing as Camille yelled "YOU ARE A DEVIL. YOU FEEL NOTHING!" and the girl slapped herself, really worked. Either or. [Page Six]
Sigh. Lindsay Lohan has a new mugshot. She had to take one after pleading "no contest" to various charges on Monday. She's going to rehab, not jail, but she still had to get processed in Santa Monica. This is something like the seventh mugshot the poor young idiot has had taken in her short life. That's a lot of mugshots. That's like if you got a mugshot every year while in college and then every year you were at law school. Like, someone Lindsay Lohan's age went to college and then went to law school and has graduated and is now a lawyer and had they had a mugshot taken every year they spent in school, they'd have as many mugshots as Lindsay Lohan has. It's a lot of mugshots, is what I'm saying. [TMZ]
Apparently Pope Francis, that's the new pope, was a "naughty" child. That's what a nun at his former school says, anyway. She didn't teach him, but she knew a real old nun who died at 101 who did and supposedly she once told the eventual pope that he "was a devil!" when she taught him. But not in a bad way, they had a good laugh about it. He was just a naughty little boy. And now he's an old man who lives in a palace and hates gay people. Funny how lives play out, isn't it? From mischievous little boy to old weird king who sleeps in a museum. I guess you never know who anyone's going to be, do you? [People]
One of the teen moms from Teen Mom has a new baby. Some poor thing named Leah Messer has given birth to her third child, a baby girl named Addalynn. Which... OK, I know it's not very nice to make fun, but they did pose for an Us Weekly photo, so... Addalynn?? That is absolutely a medicine. Absolutely. Total medicine. Some weird wiry twelve-year-old named Trevor has just had his mom shout upstairs in their well-appointed home, "Trevor? Did you take your addalynn?" and Trevor mussed his hair and closed his hands into fists and really didn't want to, but he knew he had to so he did. He took his addalynn, because otherwise the no-no feelings would come back and no one wants that. "I'm going to prescribe addalynn," a psychiatrist says to his anxious patient, a fifteen-year-old girl who's started tearing her hair out. "Oh it's the addalynn," a dreary kid named Tim tells a fellow cast member in the school play when asked why he seems kinda out of it. "It turns you into a zombie." Addalynn may cause nausea, rashes, inflammation, and the feeling that the whole world is made up of rainy Tuesday afternoons. Addalynn. The United States should be one of those countries that has a list of approved names. Because I don't think Addalynn would be on it. [Us Weekly]
Apparently Dan Stevens from Downton Abbey went to a party at the Guggenheim recently and "No one really recognized him," which to Page Six means that he shouldn't have quit the show. Aha. It's maybe also because he seems to have lost some weight?? Like he looks very different now! And his hair is darker. So. That's probably why. But I do love the reasoning that "you’d think the Guggenheim crowd would all be big ‘Downton’ fans." I mean, I guess? I think Downton appeals to a lot of people, not necessarily an artsy crowd though. It's ultimately not a terribly weird or unconventional show. I think Dan Stevens would have a better chance of being recognized at a suburban Gap store than at a Guggenheim party for a Vietnamese conceptual artist. But who knows. Maybe he did quit too soon. Nothing he can do about it now. [Page Six]