Jay Leno capped off his week of wah wah, pity me tour of jokes over reports he's getting pushed out as host of the The Tonight Show by comparing himself to someone who has been stabbed in the back. Jay Leno seriously thinks we pity him. 

Leno has been on a tear criticizing NBC executives over reports he's getting the hook early, at some point over the next 18 months, for the younger, hipper stylings of former Saturday Night Live-r and current Late Night host Jimmy Fallon. He started the week calling NBC executives snakes on Monday, saying a woman who sees everything upside down thinks NBC is on top in the ratings on Tuesday, saying NBC is going extinct on Wednesday and then making a bad March Madness joke on Thursday. He's really handling this transition with grace and aplomb, don't you think? So, on Friday, he made the classic knife-in-the-back analogy: 

Leno told the story of a Canadian man who recently had doctors remove a knife from his back after it had been there for three years. "Imagine that. The guy had a knife in his back for three years. He must have worked at NBC too," Leno zinged. Amid reports he sat down for dinner with NBC executive Robert Greenblatt -- the guy he reportedly exchanged emails with -- on Thursday, Leno continued talking about the "feud" and what NBC is doing to make it up to him. "Have you heard about this alleged feud that I’m having with NBC? I think it’s going to be OK," Leno said. "This is real. I had dinner last night with a bunch of executives. To make it up me, what they did, they are sending my wife and I on an all-expenses-paid Carnival cruise." Yes, Leno made a poop cruise joke. 

We're not really sure what Leno hopes to accomplish with all this. No one is ever going to take a sympathetic view of him after he betrayed his friend David Letterman to get the job in the first place, and what he put Conan through three years ago. But he's more than welcome to keep up this behavior so we can watch him flame out and further taint his already-tarnished reputation in a spectacularly embarrassing fashion.