We realize there's only so much time one can spend in a day watching new trailers, viral video clips, and shaky cellphone footage of people arguing on live television. This is why every day The Atlantic Wire highlights the videos that truly earn your five minutes (or less) of attention. Today:

Oh, Anderson Cooper, man of international bravery, fighter of hurricanes, interviewer of Roman study-abroad students, possible future host of Jeopardy! This video shatters any dream we've ever had of you saving us from doom — or, you know, a Yeti. However, it does confirm what we previously thought: that Padma Lakshmi, after being married to Salman Rushdie all those years, is pretty much not afraid of anything, even if she pees her pants a little:

Hey, guess what? Danishes are made in Austria. If you, too, would like to know some useless facts to shatter your friends' dreams, just click play:

Oh, poor 10-year-old Hugh is probably sitting at home wondering why this awful weatherman is laughing at him:

And, finally, here's a woman named Nina Conti. In seven minutes and with the help of two human volunteers, she tells a love story exponentially better than anything Ms. Stephenie Meyer has really ever told: