There was the monologue, which didn't go over so well in some parts, and then there was the rest of the Oscars, which didn't either. First-time host Seth MacFarlane was, as expected, kind of a jerk. Here's a sampler:  

Regarding Hollywood's beauty standards: "And those of you who gave yourselves the flu two weeks ago to 'get there'? It paid off."


The Huffington Post labeled it one of the "Seth MacFarlane Quotes About Women From The 2013 Oscars Would Never Get You A Date." 

Regarding Quvenzhané Wallis' Age: "To give you an idea of how young she is, it'll be 16 years before she's too young for Clooney." 


Regarding Zero Dark Thirty: "The film was a triumph and also a celebration of every woman's innate ability to never ever let anything go."


Ended up on a New York list of MacFarlane's "sexist jokes."

Regarding Channing Tatum, former stripper, and Jennifer Aniston, not a former stripper: "Of our next two presenters, at least one is honest about being a former exotic dancer. Please welcome Channing Tatum and Jennifer Aniston." 


Regarding people playing Abraham Lincoln: "I would argue the actor who really got inside Lincoln's head was John Wilkes Booth."

Reaction: In addition to the audience's cold reaction—probably the coldest of the night—this "joke" prompted a follow-up: 

Regarding Ben Affleck: "The first time I saw him with all that dark facial hair I thought, my god, the Kardashians have finally made the jump to film." 

Reaction: Well, Ben himself didn't like it: 

Regarding the students handing out Oscars: "That’s a good idea, a bunch of coeds and drunk producers at an open bar."


Regarding Adele: "Rex Reed will be out here to review Adele’s performance of 'Skyfall.'"


Overall reaction:

What Shatner said—or close to it, anyway....

(AP photo)