Today in celebrity gossip: Some juicy tidbits from Sunday night's Oscars parties, word on what other famous people were doing that night, and some unsurprising news about Anne Hathaway's speech.

Two days after the fact is when the real Oscar party dirt comes rolling in, and there are some saucy items for us today. Page Six has a couple of Vanity Fair party reports, filled with little tidbits like "Daniel Radcliffe practically carried a blond female friend (who looked ready to vomit) up to her room." What can he say, that Fleur Delacour likes her firewhiskey. Elsewhere, agents were apparently "lining up to meet" E.L. James, eager as they were to "pitch their actors" to the 50 Shades of Grey author. Unfortunately the item doesn't specify whose agents, but we can probably guess that Emmanuelle Riva's was first in line. Jane Fonda apparently went straight to the In-N-Out burger truck outside the Sunset Tower Hotel upon leaving the party, saying "two burgers please." Y'know, just Jane Fonda ordering hamburgers on the side of the road in the middle of the night. And it seems that heiress turned super producer (and Vanity Fair subject) Megan Ellison — her Annapurna Pictures produced Zero Dark Thirty and The Master this year, among others — was "ma[king] out with a babe at the bar." So this was quite the party! Young Hollywood and old Hollywood all mingling together, chompin' on cheeseburgers and sucking face and stumbling up to hotel rooms. And, of course, still "at work" in some sense. Oh to be a fly on that wall. To be a cheeseburger on that street! Though, in some ways it sounds really stressful. Imagine John Travolta yelling "Did you get your Martini yet?" at you, as he did to Steven Spielberg. It might all prove a bit overwhelming. [Page Six; Page Six]

Us Weekly has a nifty timeline of celebrity comings and goings for the whole Oscar weekend which is equally full of fun little items. Like Jeremy Renner going behind the bar to make vodka tonics for friends at the Independent Spirit Awards, or Ray Liotta asking a DJ to play some disco at a pre-Oscars party because "people here are old." But the true crown jewel of the whole piece, of the whole Oscar gossip world, is the following: "Bromance alert! Taylor Lautner and Patrick Schwarzenegger -- both of whom were once linked to Taylor Swift -- are inseparable at the WME bash, where they're spotted hanging out by a table full of Southern food." Bromance alert! Bromance alert. Taylor Lautner and Patrick Schwarzenegger, "inseparable" all night, both of them exes of one Taylor Swift. I mean... It really does not get better than that. What do you think they talked about? And how inseparable were they? These are important questions that we can only ponder, as the answers are lost to the busy weekend. But it's nice to have the questions at all, isn't it. [Us Weekly]

Meanwhile in New York, Jay-Z and Beyoncé totally skipped the Oscars altogether. They were seen instead having dinner with Sarah Jessica Parker and other friends on Sunday night at Freemans on the Lower East Side. They were there until one in the morning! There was no television showing the Oscars, no transistor radio, nothing. It was Oscars-free. Well, I suppose they had their phones, maybe they were checking those, but really what do any of them care about the Oscars? They didn't have a horse in that race. So why not spend the dinner with Sarah Jessica Parker instead. (Yeah, I did it.) It sounds like a nice time. Good for them. Who cares about the Oscars! [Page Six]

Anne Hathaway cares about the Oscars, that's who. As well she should, she won and it's a big deal and she should be proud of that. Though, it seems that she got wind of the fact that people (ahem) had been teasing her a bit about her acceptance speeches leading up to the big night — thanking Victor Hugo at the BAFTAs, etc. — so she apparently practiced her Oscar speech many, many times in the hopes of making it more "likable." Which is sort of a sad thought, that this whole mean Internet world of ours pressured her into doing that. Though, I must say, lots and lots of practice and she didn't cut "It came true" or "the misfortunes of Fantine"? Maybe she should have gotten a second set of ears on the thing. Bring the husband in, have him give a listen. I bet he would have at least cut "the misfortunes of Fantine," because eesh. Trying to make Les Miz into some relevant issue movie is pretty silly, so I'd have to think he'd tell her to maybe cut that line. Look, I know that it's creepy that people seem to chastise only women for being "too excited" to win these awards, there's definitely truth to that and it applies even to Anne Hathaway, but I think we can all agree that "the misfortunes of Fantine" would have been a mere clunker in an extemporaneous speech, but in one that was allegedly practiced a lot? Then it's just bad writing. That's all. Poor writing is to blame. [Us Weekly]

A mere one day post-Oscars, Best Actress winner Jennifer Lawrence was spotted leaving a salon with her hair dyed jet black. Apparently she has to do some re-shoots for The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, so it was back to black right away. Straight back to work! She looks good with the dye job, of course. She always looks good. And she's so busy. Twenty-two years old, this one. I think she might be going places. [Daily Mail]

Saturday Night Live vet Andy Samberg and singer/harpist Joanna Newsom are engaged to be married after several years of dating. Samberg proposed by presenting her with his d--k in a box, and they will be married by a milk-eyed mender. I mean, is that the joke? That's probably the most obvious joke. You could be dirtier and say that Newsom calls the contents of the box the milk-eyed mender, but do we really want to start the morning like that? I'm not sure we want to. So yeah, that's as far as we're going today. They're engaged, good for them. They seem like a nice couple. [People]

ABC has announced the next cast of Dancing With the Stars and there are a couple ringers. Dorothy Hamill and Aly Raisman are competing, and they will unfairly do very well because figure skaters and gymnasts tend to do very well at this competition, for obvious reasons. Though, Hamill is almost sixty years old, so she might not be quite as spry as, say, Kristi Yamaguchi was. Joining them are Real Housewives of Beverly Hills weirdo Lisa Vanderpump and American Idol contestant turned country star Kellie Pickler, among others. (I kinda thought Pickler was too big for a show like this? I guess not.) And then, sigh, there's Andy Dick. Yes, Andy Dick will be on Dancing With the Stars this season and we've really no reason to suspect that he will survive it. Emotionally, physically, who knows which. But it's going to be rough. What have we done to Andy Dick. Just what fate have we doomed him to. [People]

The original Kim Kardashian sex tape was almost lost in a fire at the porn company Vivid Entertainment's headquarters. Man, wouldn't that have been so tragic? If Vivid Entertainment and its vault of celebrity sex tapes burned to the ground? Just really awful, a true loss for the American community. The fire itself is pretty poetic. It does feels like where all of that's been headed for some time; fire and ash and then nothing left but rubble and ruin. Seems like a divine hand to me. Or it was Andy Dick. Either one. [TMZ]