Today in celebrity gossip: A Kennedy scion has been hauled away by the police, Lady Gaga cancels her tour, and Tiger Woods finds love on the slopes.
Though normally a demure, modest, unshowy family, sometimes the Kennedys can't help but make headlines. Just such an incident occurred yesterday, involving Conor Kennedy, the grandson of Robert Kennedy. The young lad, who is an 18-year-old junior at Deerfield, was arrested outside the White House after chaining himself to the fence in a protest about climate change. He was there with with his dad and Daryl Hannah and 45 other people, who were all arrested too. So he was standing up for something! Bringing attention to the problem of bad environmental policies, waving Dennis Quaid's paleoclimatological findings in the president's face, urging him to do something before it's too late and we all get stuck in the library with a bunch of boat wolves. We should all be proud of young Kennedy. I mean, he could be smoking grass and fiddling with himself all day if he wanted to, but instead he's doing his Kennedy duty and making a difference. Of course the sad thing about this whole story is that the only reason any of us give a good god damn is because he dated Taylor Swift this summer. Yeah, he's that one, and that's why it's written about in gossip magazines instead of just some obscure news story buried somewhere a few pages in. Boy Who Kissed Taylor Swift Arrested At America's Palace. That's the real headline. Not: Environment Doomed, Young Boy Warns. No, that's not what gets people's attention, sadly. Maybe if Taylor Swift dated the climate and then broke up with it we'd care? Might that work? She should try, at least. Taylor, please date the winds and the seas and the sun, go steady with currents and salt and ice. Then maybe everyone will pay attention. [Us Weekly]
It turns out that Lady Gaga had to cancel more than just a few shows because of her hip troubles. Not hipness troubles -- I think she's still pretty hip for most gay 21-year-old part-time waiters -- but actual hip problems. She has a "labral tear" that will require surgery and recovery time, so she has had to cancel the remaining 25 dates on her Born This Way Ball tour. This is the world tour that she's been on since last April. It was scheduled to finish up at the end of March in Tulsa of all places, but it's now suddenly over. Just like that, no more Lady Gaga tour. People will be getting refunds, of course, and lots of waiters will glumly be telling their managers that they don't need that day off anymore so if Haley doesn't want to work the shift she doesn't have to. Sad day for the staff at the Short Pump Town Center Cheesecake Factory. Sad day indeed. [Daily Mail]
Injured skier Lindsey Vonn and disgraced golfer Tiger Woods are dating and it might actually be getting serious. When Vonn hurt herself on a course in Europe recently, Tiger sent his private jet to go pick her up. Yes, Tiger has a private jet. Why wouldn't Tiger have a private jet? Tiger's gotta fly, baby. And Tiger's got more money than god. So yeah, he sent her his G-V or whatever he's got. They've also been hanging out with each other's families. Lindsey's brother recently gave skiing lessons to Tiger's kids, for example. So these two sports juggernauts may be uniting to form some sort of leisure activity power couple. Two titans of rich people's pleasure games merge into one vacation sport mega-entity. What can't they accomplish? [Us Weekly]
A lady from that show Mob Wives is marrying a Gambino family heavy even though he's in jail. Doesn't matter, they're in love. The lady is from the rival Bonanno family, but that's OK. "My family’s just happy he’s Italian," she says. The groom is in jail for cocaine trafficking, which is serious business, but it seems he's supposed to get out at some point. "It’s not the normal love story because he’s incarcerated," says the lady. Ha, "incarcerated" being a fancy word people use to dress up the sentence, "He's in jail." Guy's not incarcerated, guy's in the clink, stuck in the hoosegow, upstate, visting Uncle Fed, etc. "Incarcerated"? Don't put a doily on it. Anyway, that's the story. Annabella Sciorra will play her in the Lifetime movie. [Page Six]
One Directioner Harry Styles, who, like our featured fellow today, also dated Taylor Swift, is getting serious, academically speaking. He recently tweeted the following: "Socrates marks a watershed in Ancient Greek philosophy." Sure it's straight out of a textbook, but at least he's sending his millions of fans a good intellectual message. Though sadly it wasn't his idea. The philosopher Alain de Botton has enlisted Styles and other mainstream celebrities to use their clout to encourage people to read classic philosophical texts, from Proust to Plato. Harry seems to be the only celeb who's actually done it so far, perhaps because he and de Botton apparently met at a party and had a good chat. Oh to be a fly on the wall for that conversation. "I'm a philosopher. And what do you do?" "Groupies." "Interesting..." Harry's Socrates fun fact was retweeted over 40,000 times, so don't be surprised if your teenage daughter starts asking you about Socratic paradoxes. The cute boy told her to ask. [Daily Mail]