Lost amid the hurricane news and the marathon being cancelled late on Friday was the New York Post's Page Six exclusive report that Leonardo DiCaprio is single again. 

Yes, Jack from Titanic is single again. Things between Leo and Erin Heatherton, his girlfriend of almost a year, ended last week according to the Post's sources. The relationship came to a tipping point: Erin wanted things to get "more serious" but Leo isn't ready to settle down just yet. His friends thought Erin would be "the one." Like, the one. The one you bring home to your parents and your mum is so excited grabs Erin's cheeks and has a casserole ready the minute you walk int the door. Dad gives you a look. You know what he means. But then they both makes an awkward joke about asking when they're going to see that grandchild they've been hoping so long for. Ha! Awk. Parents. Erin, apparently, got along famously with Leo's mum. She was a keeper, until he had to leave her. 

Oh, Leo. You rapscallion. You know you're old and dignified now, yes? You're 37! You're not a prince of the city anymore. You're a king. You have awards and are pretty objectively good at your chosen profession. Some might say you're one of the best working right now. You're too old to be going around town fifteen models deep, travelling from nightclub to nightclub. It's time to start that slow transition into your dignified years. Your Clooney years. You're almost forty, you know. 

Oh, who are we kidding? Leo, chase as many models as you'd like. True love is dead anyway.