ABC has made a terrible, terrible mistake with their choice of which Olympic sport to turn into a reality competition.
From the network that already brings you Moderately Famous People Dancing, and who tried to sell you Moderately Famous People Dancing on Ice, comes Moderately Famous People Diving from Terrifying Heights. Deadline reports:
According to the producers, in Celebrity Splash, celebrities perform dives from dizzying heights, which increase in difficulty each week, including backflips, somersaults and other gymnastic feats. Leading up to the competition, a professional diving instructor gives each celebrity weeks of training. The set up echoes ABC’s veteran Dancing With The Stars and its short-lived spinoff Skating With The Stars.
Okay, we get that Ryan Lochte is a thing. He is a Pretty Thing. We know he isn't a diver, but pools are cool, brah. You follow? And, yes, getting a bunch of celebrities to strip down until they're basically naked is an easy way to sell a show. And, yes, watching celebrities try and look graceful while diving from thirty or forty feet in the air will likely be hilarious.
But clearly ABC made the wrong choice here. The breakout sport of the Olympics was obviously gymnastics. Ryan Lochte sucks, and will be forgotten in two months. He's already been relegated to crappy Seth MacFarlane impressions on Saturday Night Live while backflipping American heroes like Gabby Douglas are palling around with the President. Seeing celebrities try and tackle a pommel horse, or do a graceful floor routine, would have been way better television. You could rank each performance on a scale of 'McKayla Maroney not impressed' faces.