We realize there's only so much time one can spend in a day watching new trailers, viral video clips, and shaky cell phone footage of people arguing on live television. This is why every day The Atlantic Wire highlights the videos that truly earn your five minutes (or less) of attention. Today:

Yes, "Thriller" performed by a pair of tiny European children, one of whom vastly prefers "Beat It," trumps basically everything in the world today. And even though there may be a bobble here and there, don't worry, his dad says he's OK: 

It's September. And this is crazy. People are still making parodies of Call Me Maybe Sh*t Girls Say videos. Well, to put this in context, there is a book out and this is from the original Sh*t Sayers, and hey, it's still funny ... We promise! 

This baby is awesome. This reporter is not. And no, we will never ever clown a baby again (at least to its face). 

And finally, further proof that "Gangnam Style" has become the "Call Me Maybe" of viral videos, here are midshipmen doing their best version of the dance. Having conquered the hearts of men and women in uniform, it appears all we need now to crown "Gangnam" the one true successor to "CMM" are renditions by Cookie Monster and Justin Bieber.