We realize there's only so much time one can spend in a day watching new trailers, viral video clips, and shaky cell phone footage of people arguing on live television. This is why every day The Atlantic Wire highlights the videos that truly earn your five minutes (or less) of attention. Today:

So if you have ever had the inkling to hear Morgan Freeman and his reassuring voice read trashy verses from mom-porn then we have ... the next best thing. Here's Family Guy's "Morgan Freeman" a.k.a. Josh Robert Thompson, giving you Freeman realness (we promise it's as good as the real thing): 

In case you weren't aware, there's a bit of a scheduling dilemma tonight as the Democratic National Convention goes up against the MTV Video Music Awards. We won't tell you which one we'll be tuning into, but let's just say if Snuggie kid was factored into the equation, there'd be no contest: 

Here's one of the unsexiest (but still super interesting and maybe sexy if you like science) explanations of everything you wanted to know about orgasms: 

And finally, here's the best traffic light ever. We'd probably never get anywhere in Germany if this came into ... yeah, about that--it's just a simulation. Still awesome nonetheless: