Welcome to the Smart Set. Every morning we bring you the gossip coverage, filtered. Today: Mysterious cars have been following Katie Holmes, a Facebook billionaire is made an honest man, and Alec Baldwin had violent fantasies about Harvey Levin.

Lots of news in the wake of Katie Holmes filing for divorce from Tom Cruise. Katie's moved to a new apartment in New York City with daughter Suri, and Tom's back in Iceland filming a movie, but the real story is TMZ claiming that Cruise's beloved Church of Scientology is having Holmes followed. They claim that two cars — a white Escalade and a black Mercedes SUV, along with some suspicious guys — have been seen tailing the actress in New York. Of course, this information is gleaned almost entirely from photographers who are paid to follow Katie Holmes around New York, but that doesn't mean something sinister isn't happening! The New York Daily News also reports seeing these "creepy" shadows, and claim that the only photographs they took were of Katie's neighbors being interviewed by reporters. The Church has of course denied that they have anyone following Holmes, but they've been known to not be, shall we say, entirely trustworthy in the past. Another TMZ story is claiming that the final tipping point in Holmes' decision to divorce her husband of nearly six years was that she feared he would send their daughter to Sea Organization, a Scientology group that educates children in the ways of the Church, away from their parents. And at least one person believes the Church may be up to no good: Creepy dark lord Rupert Murdoch tweeted about the Church this weekend, saying there was "something even evil" about this "weird cult." Watching Scientology and Rupert Murdoch do battle would definitely be fascinating, in a Mothra vs. Rodan kind of way. Our money's on Rupert and his irradiated mutant army known as the Fox News team. [Us Weekly; TMZ; TMZ; NYDN; NYDN]

In happier marital news, Facebook billionaire Chris Hughes, 28, married his longtime boyfriend, gay marriage activist Sean Eldridge, 25, at the couple's Garrison, NY country home on Saturday, and later had an in-town celebration at Cipriani Wall Street. That party was attended by the likes of Nancy Pelosi, Cory Booker, Kirsten Gillibrand, Chuck Schumer, Mark Zuckerberg, and Angels in America playwright Tony Kushner, who we'd like to imagine had a few bitchy under-his-breath things to say about the fabulously wealthy, handsome young couple. Can we please just be bitter vicariously through you, Mr. Kushner? Please? Also, the commenter on Page Six who wrote "F**book" meant Funbook, yes? There's nothing else he could have meant, right? [Page Six]

If only Katie Holmes had Alec Baldwin around, she wouldn't have to worry about anyone tailing her. The actor, who also got married this weekend (to a 28-year-old yoga instructor), recently told Vanity Fair that when Harvey Levin's TMZ posted that terrible voice mail he'd left for his daughter (the one where he called her a "pig"), he wanted to "stick a knife in him and gut him and kill him and I wanted him to die breathing his last breath looking into my eyes." So... yikes! Maybe not the best thing to have in Vanity Fair while you try to remake your image as not being such a jerk all the time? Obviously he had reason to be mad, but telling Graydon Carter's fancy gourmet newsletter that you want to stab a guy just to watch the light leave his eyes is maybe not the best way to get people to leave you alone. Couldn't you have said, "Harvey Levin? Yeah, I wanted to stick my arms around him and hug him and love him and I wanted him to smile breathing happy breaths looking into my eyes"? That would have been so much better. Also creepy, but definitely better. [Vanity Fair]

Mila, why? Likable actress Mila Kunis was seen at the Soho House in L.A. this weekend canoodling with her longtime friend and That '70s Show costar turned recent, inexplicable boyfriend Ashton Kutcher. They were being all affectionate, with kisses on the cheek and hands run through hair and all that. C'mon, Kunis. You can do better than the Kutch! I mean, remember those chip ads? Those weren't that long ago! Ashton Kutcher does stuff like that and it's embarrassing and you should not be around that, Mila. OK, yes, to be fair Kunis has American Psycho II: All American Girl and Max Payne under her belt, but that's somehow not as bad. We do not support this union! Stop canoodling this instant! [Us Weekly]

Sinking dreamboat (dreambattleship?) actor Taylor Kitsch was seen watching the NBA draft with friends at The Windsor in the West Village late last week. It was mostly a quiet night, but at some point a group of giggling girls nearby sent some shots over to the table, perhaps hoping to strike up a conversation with the former Abercrombie & Fitch model and his buds. Or at least that's what Kitsch thought. What he didn't see was the note that got stuck under the tray that said "Sorry about John Carter, thought you could use these. P.S. Battleship." Turns out those girls were actually kind of mean. [Page Six]

California congresswoman Loretta Sanchez has perhaps finally slain the trend of amateur "Call Me Maybe" videos by doing one with her summer interns that is very awkward and uncomfortable. Once the Washington D.C. people start doing your trend, you know it's over. Sure this is just a fun, lighthearted little gag, but OK now. Now we are really done with these Curly Jay Jempers things, right? Let's give Cory Ray Jasperz a rest. She's earned it. [Reliable Source]