We realize there's only so much time one can spend in a day watching new trailers, viral video clips, and shaky cell phone footage of people arguing on live television. This is why every day The Atlantic Wire highlights the videos that truly earn your five minutes (or less) of attention. Today:

Illustrator Kevin Bapp hits a weird sweet spot here: appealing to Golden Girls fans, Justice League fanatics, and the majority of gay men in between. Borrowing choreography from The Golden Girls opening credits, Bapp turns Robin into Sophia, Superman into Blanche and umm... Yeah, we're giving away too much. Have a look:

And compare: 

And just in time for your summer beach parties, don't forget the self-seasoning clams: 

What is that?  You didn't want Fifty Shades of Grey: The Musical?  Too bad. Too late. The will of the people will not be denied. 

And finally, there's one huge drawback to the being a sixth-generation, badass blindfold tightrope walker like Aisikaier and surviving a 130-foot fall: it's totally embarrassing.