Lately Katie Holmes has been skipping around New York City, whistling something to herself that sounds a lot like George Michael's "Freedom," and while everyone's happy for her, they're starting to wonder when she might, y'know, get back to work. This is America, after all! Well, that question has been answered. Holmes will be making her second Broadway appearance, after All My Sons a few seasons back, in Smash evictee Theresa Rebeck's new play, Dead Accounts. The play, which will open this fall, is a five-character comedy about "issues of corporate greed, small town values, and whether or not your family will always welcome you back." Holmes will play a character named Lorna. Good for her! That'll keep her in New York with Suri, and it's, y'know, like creatively respectable and all that. Doesn't pay all that much probably, not compared to Mad Money 2 certainly, but it'll pay some. We approve! Well chosen, Katie. Now go back to cackling and giggling as you around and around your house barefoot saying "All mine! All mine! Nobody but meeee!" [Deadline]

Oh dear. Poor Fred Willard, who had an embarrassing little oopsy in an adult movie theater yesterday, has been fired from his gig as a PBS show host, because of the incident. The 78-year-old actor was to provide voice over for the new Antiques Roadshow spinoff Market Warriors, but now he's out. Sigh. One little... y'know... and you lose your job. In related news, every 15-year-old boy across the nation has been summarily fired from his summer job. [The New York Times]

The Vampire Diaries has cast an actress named Grace Phipps to play a new 16-year-old character on the show. 16 years old, huh? Sounds like TVD is trying to bring in some younger blood as the old timers start to get a little long in the tooth. And not just the vampire tooth. I mean, here's the trouble with vampire shows: Vampires don't age, but, y'know, actors do. And, like, Ian Somerhalder's character was supposed to be 20 when he turned into a vampire, but, uh, Ian Somerhalder is not 20 years old. Nor is Paul Wesley, who's supposed to be forever 17. So maybe as everyone who was originally on the show gets older, they'll keep bringing in new teens to freshen up the place. Though of course one person, Steven R. McQueen, will not be getting any older, because we sleep next to each other in our tupperware bed every night and so will never age, ever, and will be happy and together forever and ever. That's how that's going. [Entertainment Weekly]

Puff of flour dust with a ray of sun shining through it Gwyneth Paltrow may be taking the lead role in the movie Blood, Bones, & Butter, about the contents of my refrigerator. Hahaha, no no, put that phone down, I'm just kidding, seriously, put the phone down. Now. The movie is actually about a real=life chef/writer named Gabrielle Hamilton, who wrote a memoir about her winding road to owning a restaurant. That restaurant, by the way, is Prune on 1st street in the East Village, so if Gwyneth Paltrow makes this movie, you can forget about ever getting in to brunch at that damn place. It was hard enough already, and now this. Thanks a lot, Paltrow. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Oooh, a sexy Revenge scoop! Remember how Amanda/Emily's moms is supposed to be dead but secretly that moms isn't dead at all? Well they've cast the moms and she will be played by Jennifer Jason Leigh. That is interesting casting! Leigh is a great actress, duh, but usually doesn't do stuff that's so soapy, which will be fun to watch her tackle. Also, can you even imagine Jennifer Jason Leigh squaring off with Madeleine Stowe?? Single White Female vs. Unlawful Entry! Clash of the early '90s thrillers! This will be exciting. [Entertainment Weekly]