Oh, for Peter's sake. CBS has announced plans to reboot the cornball family sitcom The Brady Bunch for a whole new generation. To prove its new, fresh modernness, the project will be co-developed and produced by foul-mouthed funnyman Vince Vaughn. He came up with the idea to have the show be about Bobby Brady, all grown up and now a divorcee who remarries. This time, though, the exes stay in the picture. So, what? Will it be some dirtier take on the whole thing? Something ribald and ironic? Didn't we already do that?
Y'know, in those two parody Brady Bunch movies from the '90s? (The first of which was funny, the second of which stunk worse than Cousin Oliver.) Also there was that stage show in 1991 that slyly mocked the show. Basically another trip to the split-level feels entirely unnecessary. The Brady Bunch's brand name isn't really worth all that much these days — no more so than, say, The Honeymooners, Bewitched, or Starsky and Hutch, all of which have been revived and tweaked/parodied in the past decade to little or no success. Sure those were movies, but why would a TV series do any better? And why not, I dunno, just make a new show about a mixed family? Or wait, doesn't that already exist? Isn't it called Modern Family? CBS, are you just cynically trying to make your own Modern Family and taking the Brady Bunch name because you hope that'll guarantee some looky-loos for the first couple of episodes? Tsk tsk.
It's no secret that Hollywood is out of ideas, we've known that for some time now, but we thought that we were at least done with this level of shamelessness. Remember that Charlie's Angels reboot a season or two ago? How long did that last, three episodes? Sure, OK, Dallas is doing decently on TNT, but that's not a reboot. That's just a complete continuation of the old show, with most of the original characters still lurching around the ranch. CBS should know that despite Dallas's modest success, '70s nostalgia is pretty passe at this point. You want Vince Vaughn to develop and produce a sitcom? Then just have him develop and produce a sitcom. Leave Bobby Brady out of this. We're long done with him.