We realize there's only so much time one can spend in a day watching new trailers, viral video clips, and shaky cell phone footage of people arguing on live television. This is why every day The Atlantic Wire highlights the videos that truly earn your five minutes (or less) of attention. Today:

Hey, we just met you. And this is crazy ... oh wait, nevermind. Bucking the trend of lip dubs to that one song which we will not name are the soccer stars of the U.S. Women's National Team, who have decided to kick it old school (well as old school as "Party in the U.S.A." can be) and give us this lip-dub send off: 

Also, as funny as this is, we don't recommend pranking your sleeping spouses or trying this at home (so just watch it here): 

And since we're on the topic of life lessons, here's another: nothing good comes out of challenging an adorable 8-year-old to a dance battle. 

Finally, Gawker's Neetzan Zimmerman pointed us to this pitch of the day--a fly-abusing, "Insect-Eradicating" shotgun. Apparently artist Lorenzo Maggiore has way more money (over $60,000) than he asked for ($15,000) to build his BUG-A-SALT™ firearm which fires a pinch of salt at household pests and usher them to a salty doom. Like we said, he has over $60,000 pledged for the creation of this device (don't let that stop you from donating), and here's the video that helped raise all that cash: