We can all breathe a sigh of relief and get out of this corner (we said they couldn't put us there, but they did) because Lionsgate has announced that they're shelving their planned reboot/remake of seminal 1987 dance film Dirty Dancing, which was to be a musical, until 2014. So we have some time!
What caused the pushback? Did some Lionsgate exec get visited by a ghost one dark night, and the ghost showed him the error of his ways, taking him to a terrible future where the world has warped and gnarled because of this abomination? No, no. It was just casting issues. They'd tested a bunch of people who all, thank god, didn't work out. Among them were Glee diva monster Lea Michele, strange dancing alien twin Derek Hough, Miley Cyrus' ex-boyfriend Justin Gaston, and a Canadian named Nikki Yanofsky. None of those sound good! So we are glad they are not cast. Maybe, guys, you should just quit while you're, well, not ahead exactly, but not terribly behind and just not make the damn thing at all. Why not try doing that.
Though, we are maybe a bit too judgmental about this project. Sure the original Dirty Dancing is a classic beloved by a certain kind of swoony weirdo (or many swoony weirdos) and should thus be protected and appreciated and not capitalized on, but the remake's director Kenny Ortega choreographed the original, so he knows the material. And hey, that Footloose remake was actually pretty fun. So who's to say a DD remake wouldn't be?
Though, there was no singing in Footloose 2.0. And it was directed by Craig Brewer, who's made interesting movies like Hustle & Flow. Ortega, on the other hand, directed the High School Musical movies. (Which are fun and all, but they're essentially amped-up Stride Rite commercials.) So, no, actually, we weren't being too judgmental. This is a bad idea. Thankfully now we won't have to deal with it for two years or so. The fates have smiled upon us this day.