Welcome to the Smart Set. Every morning we bring you the gossip coverage, filtered. Today: Kris Jenner might have planned Kim Kardashian's sex tape, One Direction denied any fun in Vegas, and Prince William will soon be rich(er).
Creepy Kris Jenner, the mother of the coven of sirens known as the Kardashians, orchestrated the sex tape that made Kim Kardashian famous, according to messages on Kim's ex Kris Humphries' current girlfriend's phone, anyway. Phew. That's a lot of connections. But yeah, the point is that Kris — Kris Jenner, not Kris Humphries, can't one of you please spell Chris correctly? — allegedly not only told Kim to shoot the sex tape with Ray J (Brandy's brother) that launched her into the national spotlight, but had her do it over after the first one wasn't "pretty enough." If true, that is very sinister and creepy! Kris Jenner clearly wants to be famous like her daughters, but alas she's an old lady who looks like Morticia Addams after getting divorced and moving to San Diego. (House Hunters intro: "Newly divorced mom Morticia is looking in the San Diego area for the perfect dilapidated mansion to start this new phase of her life. But can she find the cobwebby castle she wants, or will San Diego's high real estate prices make her dreams go toes up?") So she makes (maybe!) her daughter do sex tapes instead. Sigh. Hopefully this story isn't true, but sadly we wouldn't have a hard time believing it. Meanwhile, Kris's husband Bruce Jenner has gotten his face stuck in the juicer again and is calling for help in vain. [TMZ]
Uh oh. The cheeky blokes of British pop invasion One Direction were tossed out of a bunch of Las Vegas casinos recently for trying to gamble and drink even though they're all underage. Bloody 'ell! They were also disappointed to learn that the suite they booked wasn't, as they'd been informed, the same suite used in the movie The Hangover. Yeah, that was actually filmed in Los Angeles, not Las Vegas, so better luck next time, lads. But oh! Ha! Judging by the photos of the suite, I'm pretty sure it's the same one that the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills stayed in, because it's the Palms and that's owned by the Maloofs and I remember there being a basketball court in the suite the girls stayed in. So, you hear that, Harry, Niall, Zayn, Louis, and Liam? You stayed where the Real Housewives stayed! Just what every teenage boy dreams of when he thinks of Las Vegas. Sorry you didn't get to drink, though. Better luck next time. [The Sun]
Yowsa. You know who doesn't have enough money? William, Duke of Cambridge and future King of the Anglicans. He just dosen't have as many pounds in the bank as he should. But don't worry! For his 30th birthday, which is today, William will be receiving some £10 million, or approx. $4.5 million, from a trust left by his late mother, Diana. So that is good! We were worried there for a second that the future ruler of all the British Isles' grand greenery and peoples might not have enough scratch in the kitty, but now he'll be fine. And don't worry about William's brother, the dark prince Harry, either. He'll be receiving his share in 2014, at which point he and I will finally buy that garret apartment on the Île Saint-Louis we've had our eye on and find a villa in Tuscany and that will be life. You'll have to come visit us sometime! [Page Six]
Johnny Depp is indeed splitting from longtime partner
Blackbeard Vanessa Paradis, and has recently been seen in Los Angeles partying it up with his buddy Marilyn Manson when not on the set of The Lone Ranger out in Colorado and New Mexico. He's not going back to LA just to hang with Mindy Manson, though. His kids are in school there, so he's going to see them too. The other news about the split is that Paradis will apparently receive some $150 million, which Depp would hand over in an effort to keep things civil and amicable, not because he's legally forced to (they never married). As for the couple's many properties — a ridiculous chateau in the Hollywood Hills, another chateau in the South of France, an island in the Bahamas, a palazzo in Venice, a flat in Paris — they'll be splitting them in some configuration. If it gets too difficult, though, like if they can't decide who gets what? I'm sure many of us would have no problem taking one of the places off their hands. For free, obviously, but still, that would be the easiest thing probably and they could write it off on their taxes or something. I claim the palazzo. Sorry, said it first. [People, The Sun]
Since that heartwarming, but also sexy, photo of Mary-Kate Olsen, her new boyfriend Olivier Sarkozy (half-brother of Nicolas), and his young daughter surfaced earlier this week, MK and Ollie have been the hottest couple in town. They were seen at a MoMA PS1 benefit on Tuesday and were allll over each other, kissing and groping and all that stuff right in front of everybody. One hopes of course that MK was smoking a cigarette the whole time and that the daughter was watching. Just like in that beautiful photograph. That really special, not at all strange and weird, picture. They're putting that image on the new American flag. You know, the new one that Obama will commission once he wins his second term and begins establishing the New Order, letting weirdos and French people overtake America with their strange relationships and odd socialist clothes? Can't wait! [Page Six]
Mamie Gummer, daughter of Meryl Streep, wife of actor Benjamin Walker, had to make a tough decision (will not make the choice joke) on Monday night: Attend a reading of Romeo & Juliet featuring her mother at the Public Theater's Shakespeare in the Park 50th Anniversary celebration, or go with her husband to the premiere of his new film Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. She ultimately chose her husband, and boy, oh, boy, we saw that movie (review tomorrow!) and, man, did she make the wrong choice. Very much the wrong choice. [Page Six]