Welcome to the Smart Set. Every morning we bring you the gossip coverage, filtered. Today: Gwynnie and Chrissie have a new L.A. pad, Lana Del Rey got a job, and Russell Brand is sexual catnip.

The collection of hoar frost brought to life by the sun's spell known as Gwyneth Paltrow has purchased a new home in Los Angeles with her husband, inspirational soft rocker Chris Martin. The place is a 6 bedroom, 8 bath affair that looks like an enormous carriage house, and the property comes with a stable. (Should be handy when the Paltrow-Martins have their good friends the Parker-Brodericks over.) Though the place, which was only built last year, is huge and expensive, $10.5 million, there's no word on whether the couple is permanently relocating from London. It doesn't seem likely, though. No, Paltrow is a bit too into the London life, all the cute prim white things there are to do there, all the fanciness it bestows upon its particularly well-heeled residents. No, this L.A. thing is probably just a crashpad, a flophouse for when the family needs it. You know, like their white heaven dream cocoon in Tribeca. Just one of those things. [TMZ]

American moan-singer Lana Del Rey has become the new spokesmodel for H&M, because she's so trendy and all the kids love her... Six months ago. Come on guys, be on the ball! Sure some people are still loopy for Lana, dopey for Del Rey, but most of the conversation has moved far past the "Video Games" singer and her little video collage art projects. But, whatever, you do you, H&M. Whatever you think is best. I just hired Tan Mom to be my assistant, so I'm up on the most recent trends too. Yeah it's proving to be difficult, as I often have to bang a broom against the wall and say "Get outta the walls, Tan Mom!!" when she gets in there and starts skittering around, and other times I have to call the fire department when I look for her for hours only to find her snoozing up in a tree in the yard, but, y'know, that's the price you pay for being au courant. [Page Six]

Ew. In a new interview with Men's Journal (not to be confused with Men's Diary, a confessional fitness magazine about feelings), Alec Baldwin says this of his Rock of Ages costar and known bewigged skeleton Russell Brand: "[W]omen…walk by, and you literally see them buckle. He has an energy to him – I've never seen anything like it in my life. He probably could have had sex with 150 different women a day." Which, gross. Who is buckling, exactly? Ladies, would you buckle? If you walked by Russell Brand, gangling there in his top hats and faerie shirts and his necklaces? Knowing you'd be getting Katy Perry's floppy fifths? I just don't get it. Meanwhile, no one's buckling when they walk by Alec Baldwin, except paparazzis when he kicks them in the back of the knees. [Men's Journal]

Basketed-ball player Tony Parker is suing the New York nightclub where he was injured in the crossfire during the big Drake/Chris Brown bottle brawl, saying the club should have known to not let the dudes in at the same time. Haha, what? Look, guy, I'm sorry you got injured, but the club should have been keeping tabs on the love lives of two of their customers to the degree that they wouldn't let them be in the same club at the same time? "Oh, sorry, can't let you in because Jenny is in there and I know you guys got in a fight in Sag Harbor last summer and plus she's there with Bobby and Ashley and weren't they talking shit about you at Steve's party at Fat Baby back in March? So yeah, just doesn't sound like a good idea tonight. Sorryyyyy." Silly. Parker's upset because being injured could affect his b-ball career and, most urgently, his playing for the French national team in the Olympics. For the French?? Well forget you, sir. [TMZ]

James Marsden, who always seemed like a nice family man, divorced his wife of 11 years recently and now his 24-year-old model girlfriend (Marsden is 38) is said to be pregnant. So, well, OK. Congrats you two. Talk about disturbing behavior! [Page Six]

Meanwhile Ryan Phillipe, 37, was seen going to STK (ugh) in L.A. with his current girlfriend, who is said to still be in college. Men are dogs. [People]

Speaking of, this dog, given to him by his fiance Milly Sirrus, gets to lick Liam Hemsworth's face and you do not. [People Pets (Yes, People Pets.)]

Matthew McConaughey says he both giggled and cried when he got his unspeakables waxed in preparation for Magic Mike. Funny, I think giggling and crying is going to be most people's reaction to Magic Mike. [Us Weekly]