Thanks to a Reddit "Ask Me Anything" with a McDonald's employee, we now know how to get our Big Macs cheaper, which McDonald's to go to if we were to get inebriated and wanted to evade the law, and all about the secret hierarchy of the "Top 500." "[I am a] McDonald's employee, who has seen the worst of the worst customer incidents, altercations, and overall rudeness of human beings," Reddit user GameMisconduct63 opened his AMA thread on Tuesday night and has opened our eyes to the world of McDonald's we never knew, and will never forget.

Here's a sampling of what we found: 

There's a Hierarchy of McDonald's Restaurants and You Want to Eat at a "Top 500"

Game did not specifically say which McDonald's he worked at, but did mention that it was a "Top 500" restaurant in the Columbus, Ohio area. And his answer to the hierarchy (we knew there were different levels of GAPs, Banana Republics, and most retail stores) and practices of McDonald's was sort of eye-opening and jealousy-inducing, provided you aren't living near a Top 500 Mickey D's. 

I cannot stress enough that things differ from location to location (Based on rankings, staff, overall "prestige" if you will of the McDonalds), but for ours, 10 minutes tops (if already made). Otherwise, the patties can sit in the steamers for up to an hour before they lose structural integrity (meaning, 1 out of 100 people might be able to tell it doesn't taste fresh). Our McDonalds is one of the top 500 in America though, so we go hard in the paint, so to speak. If you go to some "shitty" one, maybe out in the boonies of nowhere, they could have their burgers sitting out for hours on end...

...every 10 minutes it's required that someone cleans the tables in the lobby, as well as the floors (if needed). Like I said in another comment, we go hard in the paint. When it comes to getting shit done, and having a good restaurant ranking, we don't fuck around.

And When You Get the Munchies ...

"If someone showed up at the drive-thru visibly drunk or high, as a McDonalds employee would you be obligated to turn them in somehow, or would that never really happen?", asked a fellow Reddit user, which we errr ... totally don't condone. But hypothetically speaking, if you were high or drunk and were looking to hide from the law, there's this comforting response

Update June 29, 6:35 a.m.: Since the article went live, this answer has since been deleted by the original author. We had originally linked to his response. His response has however been quoted by another Reddit user (below). 

If you came to our mcdonalds high, we would practically give you free food. Everyone makes mistakes, so yeah it might of been embarassing to screw up your change, but there is no way in hell anyone would turn you in.

Drunk - that is mostly bad, seeing how when you're drunk, you are most likely loud, obnoxious, and creating a disturbance to the other customers, and most employees will kick you out.

Our mcdonalds parking lot is a notorious spot for Ents [i.e. people who like to smoke pot] to hang out, because if you just sit in your car and blaze, it simply (at night, at least) looks like kids just eating food they just got in the drive thru. The perfect alibi. Toke on, my man.

 

The Secret Menu

So we've heard about a McDonald's secret menu for a while now. Reddit users found a version here, and according to our employee this is what's real

McKinley Mac: A Big Mac with Quarter Pounder patties

Neapolitan Milkshake: A chocolate, vanilla, strawberry-layered milkshake

McLeprichon: A Shamrock Shake plus a chocolate shake in one

All American: Normal-sized hamburger with pickles and ketchup

Biscuits and Gravy: Biscuits and Gravy (apparently available in the South)

And a Cheaper Big Mac

And in a moment of serendipity, Game's Ask Me Anything brought out this McDonald's secret from another poster:

If you want a big mac for a fraction of the cost order a mcdouble with no mustard or ketchup, add shredded lettuce and mac sauce. The only difference is the bun, which is negligible. A sandwich that normally costs $4.20 after tax is less than $2.

The full thread, horror stories and all, is here on Reddit.